Editing 2003

{{00s}}
{{year nav|2003}}
'''2003''' was most notable as being the year in which the [[United States]] decided to expand its War on Terror to include countries that had nothing to do with terrorism, and promptly invaded [[Iraq]]. Also notably, everyone got worked up about something called [[SARS]] for a few months. Remember SARS? Me neither. 2003 sadly passed away in its sleep on the 1st of January, [[2004]]. It was one year old.

==Events of 2003==
===January===

*[[January 3]] – The 108th [[United States]] [[Congress]] is sworn in. Congressmen and women begin work of being a bunch of slimy self-interested cunts.
*[[January 13]] – [[The Who]] guitarist, Pete Townshend, is arrested following a controversial "research programme" into [[child porn]]. In the end, [[UN:N|nobody cares]] that he's a dirty [[pedophile]].  
*[[January 30]] – The leaders of the [[United Kingdom]], [[Czech Republic]], [[Denmark]], [[Hungary]], [[Italy]], [[Poland]], [[Portugal]], [[Romania]] and [[Spain]] release a statement ''(The Letter of the Eight)'' calling on [[Iraq]] to destroy the weapons it destroyed after the first Gulf War saying ''"Sorry, we weren't looking."''

===February===
*[[February 1]] – At the conclusion of the STS-107 mission, the Space Shuttle Columbia disintegrates during re-entry over [[Texas]], killing all 7 astronauts onboard and causing a bunch of cool explosions.
*[[February 3]] – Legendary record-producer Phil Spector arrested for shooting some bitch or something.
*[[February 12]] – CIA discovers vague blurry evidence of some kind of buildings in [[Iraq]]. These are assumed to be chemical weapons plants.
*[[February 26]] – First case of [[SARS]] found in Vietnam. Remember SARS? Me neither.
*[[February 28]] - Everyone suddenly starts wondering if 2003 is a leap year.

===March===
*[[March 17]] – U.S. President George W. Bush gives an ultimatum: [[Saddam Hussein]] and his sons must either leave Iraq, or face military action at a time of the U.S.'s choosing.
*[[March 19]] – U.S. begins dropping bombs on Iraq after asking Saddam Hussein nicely to leave proves ineffective.

===April===
*[[April 1]] – April Fools Day. Everyone tries to be funny, mostly unsuccessfully. 
*[[April 1]] – Dozens of fans walk out during a [[Pearl Jam]] concert when lead singer Eddie Vedder made anti-war comments and insulting remarks about U.S. President George W. Bush. Other audience members booed and shouted at Vedder telling him to ''"shut up."'' Vedder attempted to pussy out by adding ''"just to clarify... we support the troops."''
*[[April 9]] – U.S. forces seize control of [[Baghdad]]. Saddam Hussein's reign of terror ended. Iraqis look forward to new reign of terror.
*[[April 14]] – The Human Genome Project is completed, with 99% of the human genome sequenced to 99.99% accuracy. [[UN:N|Nobody can be arsed]] to finish that last bit.

===May===
*[[May 1]] – George Bush holds Mission Accomplished party on board an aircraft carrier, in what turns out to be a masterful piece of [[irony]].
*[[May 17]] - Jeffrey Phillips of Hoboken, New Jersey finally understands the big deal about the [[Backstreet Boys]].

===June===
*[[June 26]] – The U.S. Supreme Court declares [[sodomy]] laws unconstitutional, bring an end to the Dark Ages in [[Texas]].

===July===
*[[July 4]] - U.S. soldiers celebrate [[Independence Day]] by suppressing Iraqi resistance to the Occupation.
*[[July 5]] – SARS is declared to be contained by WHO. Remember SARS? Me neither.
*[[July 18]] – ''Bad Boys II'' is released, because one wasn't bad enough.
*[[July 18]] – ''Johnny English'' is released, using up the last of [[Rowan Atkinson]]'s artistic credibility.
*[[July 19]] – Everyone forgets about SARS. Remember SARS? Me neither.

===August===
*[[August 12]] - Female suicide bomber strikes a blow for [[feminism]] in Iraq. Dozens are killed.
*[[August 28]] - Desperate for attention, [[Madonna]] sparks media controversy by kissing popstars [[Britney Spears]] and [[Christina Aguilera]] at the 2003 MTV Video Music Awards. Everyone agrees it would have been way hotter if Madonna wasn't so old.

===October===
*[[October 7]] - California voters recall Governor Gray Davis from office and elect [[Arnold Schwarzenegger]] to succeed him. America is the laughing stock of the world (again).
*[[October 19]] - Some loser is born to create this useless bullet point.
*[[October 31]] - Man beaten to death after failing to choose 'Treat'. 

===December===
*[[December 13]] – Saddam Hussein is found in a cave with a packet of funsize [[Mars]] bars. The U.S. begins plans for a show trial.
*[[December 25]] - [[Santa Claus]] brought me what I wanted.
*[[December 31]] - Everyone resolves to lose weight and stop smoking. However, most are too [[drunk]] to remember the next day. 
 
[[category:years]][[Category:2000s]]

[[it:2003]]