▓ Jesus
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“▓ jesus! I choose you!”
~ penguinofhonor on ▓ Jesus
Contents |
[edit] History
[edit] Early Life
▓ Jesus, also known as ▓esus, was created when ▓ had eleven too many beans at a friend's bachelor party, causing a huge, quite smelly, explosion ripping a hole in the universe. ▓ Jesus came tumbling out of this hole from another dimension. File:Jesus01.jpg
[edit] Dimension
▓ Jesus came from the ▓ dimension where everything is ▓ and nothing isn't. Good for them, eh? ▓ Jesus has told us that in the ▓ Dimension there are ▓ people and ▓ stuff. Little else is known about the ▓ dimension.
[edit] Preaching
▓ Jesus preaches that everything should be more ▓ and that we should worship G▓d. This religion is known as ▓ism or ▓ Christianity.
[edit] ▓ism
▓ism is the religion of the ▓ dimension. It parallels Christianity in many ways.
[edit] A regular ▓ Mass
They come in and sing a song. PRIEST:Whazzup? AUDIENCE:Whazzup? P:god is a non existant gay person A:yup P:im a fat cow They eat bread-flavored cardboard and sing another song. P:Are we done here, that was feeling good but it was over so quickly... A:Yes. They leave.
The songs they sing include "Glory to the ▓", "Our god is a noob and" "jesus is n00bier than you no matter what you say, you stupid little-."
[edit] The s▓craments
it means jesus the lebotating non existant person that lives in the sky is gay
[edit] See also
| Fear their wrath, and beware their confusing names. If you are confused about which one you want to know to know to know to know it is it is yes. babs, it's probably Original Jesus. | ||
| Disco Jesus: Sabbath Night Fever | Invented economic theory: Supply-side Jesus | |
| Jesus of Nazareth: Singer and Songwriter | The Passion of the Jew: Kyle Broflovski | |
| Dark Jesus: Parallel Universe Jesus | Something musical: The Artist Formerly Known As Jesus | |
| Jesus Christ - Alcoholic: Just like daddy. | Member of the Carpenters: Jeez | |
| King Jesus: That's sire to you, boy | Semi-Jesus anthropormorphic personification:Messiah | |
| Jesus Fucking Christ: Working class hero and modern day sage | Moshed his way to Metal-heaven: Metal Jesus | |
| Super Jebus: Western Sydney pimp | He screams! He sells! His head EXPLODES! Billy Mays | |
| Jesus Marx: Illegal Commie Clone | Elemental Jesus: Je (element) | |
| Republican Jesus: Has a "W" sticker on his SUV | An alpha prototype Christ: Jesus 1.5a | |
| Hide and Go Jesus: The hardest one to find | That one in that band...Nightmare Cinema or something: Jesus LaBrie | |
| Jihad Jesus: جهاد عيسي | Raise one family and you will be a believer: Pet Jesus | |
| Stephen Colbert: Smiting Bears for in God's name | Patron Jesus of Crocodiles: Steve Irwin | |
| Ultimate Jesus: Designed by God to be the ultimate fighting machine | He's blonde, cultish, and believes in racial purity. No, it's not a Nazi, it's: Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints | |
| MC Jesus: The Jewish Rap Sensation | Blue in hue and bereft of beard too: Bizarro Jesus | |
| Sweet smoking Jesus: What would Jesus smoke? | Bow to ye savior or walk the plank ye scurvy dogs: Captain Jesus | |
| Accordion Jesus: Saves you from pop music. | But what If Jesus had lived in America | |
[edit] the life of a non exitant person
it has been proven that this "all powerfull being" does not exist but guilable people will argue against that because having a non existant all powerfull guy called jebus will help them sleep better
