From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search
Illuminati Document 00376


Mickey Mouse has become more and more erratic.
He gets irritable, and our gestures and whispers no longer sway him. He no longer serves our purposes.
I suppose that he thinks that he truly runs things here.
Then again, most people think that they are in charge of their lives.
They have no idea that we are here.
Maybe all that cultish worship has gotten to Mouse’s head.
Whatever the case may be, we must plan for the future.
Soon, we will be setting in motion a chain of events that will lead to the post-Mouse era.
Information about possible successors to Mouse is critical.



We have been monitoring Admiral Donald Duck for over a decade.
In our scenarios, he will very likely play a pivotal role in the post-Mouse era.
So far, his actions indicate loyalty, but not enthusiasm, for Mouse.
He could become an unpredictable element. Our current assessment of Duck is incomplete.
I will be personally conducting rigorous psychological testing on the Duck subject.
Our pirate agents should acquire the subject next month. It will look like a regular kidnapping.
A complete psychological profile should take no longer than 8 weeks.
I will ensure that no permanent physical damage to the subject occurs.
We cannot afford to make martyrs that will stir up public sentiments.
The situation is very delicate. Reports are that the Ancients of Mu are in the vicinity.

We walk in Light,

--Agent 155
June 16, 1968