0oi

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0ois are an extremely rare species of chipmunk, often believed to be the missing link between Humans and Bigfoot. They have been known to inhabit many parts of the world, from Antartica to the Marinas Trench (but not in many civilised places). They can grow up to 5 metres tall, comprising of about 99% fat. While normally homosexual, redundant creatures, 0ois can be great whining sissys, causing uproars and owning peeps who might unfortunately be nearby. This is especially so when they have appendictis malfunctions. 0ois are occasionally spotted in our civilisations, disguised as some average human. However, they are relatively easy to spot by their unnatural characteristics:

1. Lack of/Severly underdeveloped genitals

2. Lack of hair in most places (except nose)

3. Goofy spectacles

4. Making monkey-like screeches

5. Talking irrevelant nonsense

6. Having a weird accent

History[edit]

Though rare, there a a few surviving records of 0ois. These usually praise them for their spasticness and paranoid sexual habits. The most famous of all 0ois would be the great Neqi, who ruled Ethiopia for 1 week during the Golden Proby Age. Then, they invented many new technologies, such as the dildo. Unfortunately, the empire was overthrown during a rebelllion led by the horseflies, known as the Punic Wars. Many 0ois died of horsefly bites and anthrax posioning. Neqi was killed by a fatal bite on his knee. Much of the dildos and their creators were lost as well. Since then, most 0ois have retreated into the darkest corners of the globe, with only one or two occasionally being spotted.

Religon[edit]

All 0ois worship Proby, their god. Myths state that Proby was a space probe from outer space who came to the 0ois while they were still simple-minded creatures. He blessed them with brains greatly inferior to that of humans, and genitals which were pretty useless as well. Proby is described to come in many forms, from that of a bumblebee to a bitch to some old woman.

Based on legend, Nee Nee Noy would be the probably be the equilvalent of our devil to the 0ois. While Proby blesses the 0oi peeps who sing praises of him, Nee Nee Noy glorifies in sex, vulgarities and smiling like some maniacal idiot. She is also said to have created the horseflies, the mortal enemy of the 0ois. 0ois fear Nee Nee Noy and are thus afraid to explore their bodies and use vulgarities. Over time, this has contributed to their poorly adapted body structure.