100%

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“You have roughly 100% of my cock in your mouth right now.”

~ Wikipedia on 100 PERCENT OV MAI COXOR

100% is the most anything can be. It is, in fact, all of nothing. Throughout countries such as Canada, France, Portugal and Libya, it is widely believed that 100% was invented more than or equal to ten thousand years ago. Microsoft have disproved this theory. Mathematicians have long argued about what this says about the universe. Why 100? Why not 112? Or 341? The universe is of course organised on a metric system, having converted something like 50 billion years ago, which explains why older galaxies are all divisible by 12, 14, or some other number that does not allow for easy calculation using one's fingers, toes, eyes, pubic hairs, or nostrils,.

Education[edit]

100% is used, most commonly, in education. If someone gets everything right on a certain test or assignment, they are rewarded with the meaningless mark of 100%. However, if a child or studdent fails to get all of the problems correct, but has some sort of mental problem or slept with the teacher (We're all laughing at Colorado), they will also achieve 100%. If you can't meet any of the above situations and therefore don't get 100%, you are a dumbass and shouldn't go to school.

Physics[edit]

The Earth is 100% planet, which is why it takes one hundred days to orbit around the sun. Because humans have wrongly calculated the year as 365 days, this means that every 100 years an extra day is added to make things fit with the way they really are. This is known as "reality-adjustment" and explains why certain periods of history lasted longer than others.

In a wider cosmological sense, the universe is not yet at 100%, though by definition it is. Thus the universe is a special case where 100% is a constant value that nonetheless changes over time.

Theology[edit]

The theological implications are diverse and confusing, especially as many religious people believe that the world was created in six days. Since six is not a reasonable number in the metric system, there is a deep conflict between faith and fact. In recent years some have argued that the Earth may be much older than previously suspected, which would allow a six day creation while still fitting with objective fact that the planet's orbital mechanics are clearly on the metric system. This implies that the Earth used to have a different length of year, which is just unfalsifiable enough to be a sound religious doctrine.

Interesting Facts[edit]

  • Although 100% is the most anyone/anything can ever give, baseball coaches seem to still insist on telling their players to give 112%.
  • Actually if your heart is beating over 220 beats per minute you are giving more than 100% but you will die before you achieve this.