100 Worst Condom Flavours

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search

“YUM!”


Worstlist.png
100 April Fools Jokes
99 Colours
98 Creatures to have sex with
97 Firefox extensions
96 Foods
95 Gifts to give a friend
94 Harry Potter Spin-offs
93 Inventions
92 Locations
91 LOL Cats
90 Make Out Songs
89 Moments to get a Boner
88 Moments to Laugh
87 Money Making Schemes
86 Movies
85 Non-existent Words
84 Non-Sexual Things To Do With No Pants On
83 Nutty Conspiracy Theories
82 Overused Star Trek Episode Plots
81 Pick-up lines
80 Pokemon Cash-Ins
79 Porn Stars
78 Quick Detections that an Uncyclopedia page sucks
77 Reasons to become a Christian
76 Reflections on 2005
75 Reflections on 2006
74 Reflections on 2007
73 Reflections on 2008
72 Reflections on 2009
71 Reflections on 2010
70 Reflections on 2011
69 Reflections on 2012
68 Rejected Harry Potter Novels
67 Remakes
66 Restaurants
65 Self Help Books
64 Sequels
63 Sexual Perversions
62 Short Poems
61 Sitcom Catchphrases
60 Songs
59 Songs about Seagulling
58 Songs Referencing Paedophilia
57 Songs To Have Sex To
56 Songs To Play At A Funeral
55 Spinoffs
54 Superheroes
53 Things About the '00s
52 Things Rick Astley is Never Gonna Do
51 Things to do during Christmas
50 Things to Put In An IV
49 Things To Say In Court
48 Things to Say in the Workplace
47 Things to say on a First Date
46 Toys
45 TV Programs
44 Uncyclopedia In-Jokes
43 Video Games of all time‎
42 Video Game Movies
41 Video Game Systems
40 Ways of Being a Dick
39 Ways To Be Castrated
38 Ways to be Circumcized
37 Ways to Deliver Bad News
36 Ways to Die
35 Ways to Exercise
34 Ways to Fight a Crocodile
33 Ways to Fight a Dolphin
32 Ways to Fight a Duck
31 Ways to Fight a Frog
30 Ways to Fight a Jellyfish
29 Ways to Fight a Kangaroo
28 Ways to Fight a Lemur
27 Ways to Fight a Man
26 Ways to Fight a Penguin
25 Ways to Fight a Pirate
24 Ways to Fight a Platypus
23 Ways to Fight a Queen
22 Ways to Fight a Snake
21 Ways to Fight a Turtle
20 Ways to Fight a Vampire
19 Ways to Fight a Werewolf
18 Ways to Fight an African Elephant
17 Ways to Fight an Alligator
16 Ways to Fight an Asian Elephant
15 Ways to Fight an Iguana
14 Ways to Fight an Ox
13 Ways to Fight an Ugly Animal
12 Ways to Get a Boyfriend
11 Ways to Get a Girlfriend
10 Ways to Hack a Computer
9 Ways to Kill Sarah Connor
8 Ways to Start a Novel
7 Ways to Win an Argument
6 Weapons
5 Werewolves
4 Worlds of Fiction
3 Xylophones
2 Yaks
1 Zebras

There have been many different types of condoms in the past, including the extra thin variety. Here are some of the worst.

101. Durian

100-91[edit]

100. Mint
99. Ginger
98. Penis
Just like the real thing.
97. Earwax
96. Black Sweat
95. Vagina
For the lesbian in all of us. Also so they know how bad it tastes/smells.
94. Steve Ballmer
93. Ebola
Let the condom do the eating!
92. Acid Reflux
You might as well get used to it now.
91. Matured Stilton cheese

90-81[edit]

90. Spunk
Defeating the purpose? Never!
89. Original Melted Battery
It keeps going, and going, and going...
88. Jesus
Jesus is indeed coming!
87. Apple
86. Viagra Extract
When you need more power!
85. Whipped Cream
Don't confuse it!
84. Vagina filled with cigarette butts
Tastes awful, but it's addictive.
83. Wet Dog
Unless you're into that stuff.
82. Grandma
Nobody likes the taste of mothballs, urine and death.
81. Morning Breath
Tastes like old eggs...

80-71[edit]

80. Shaving cream
It's a bit too metro...
79. Pepsi Blue
C'mon, no-one liked Pepsi Blue.
78. Cat food
Only Courtney Samantha Sheen likes this flavour...although the cats also like a nibble
77. Bacon
76. I Can't Believe It's Not Butter

It's Obv Margarine

75. Vinegar-soaked Sponge
74. WD-40
Ultimate in lubrication, but no.
73. Blood
72. Curry
Englands national meal.
71. Asbestos
It's to die for.

70-61[edit]

70. Eucalyptus
69. Haggis
for the Scot in you
68. Brain Peppers
67. SpongeBob
which incidentally smells a bit like a pineapple
66. Bleach
Clean that filthy mouth.
65. Urinal cake
64. Polonium
63. Polish
The shiny stuff, not people from Poland...or is it?
62. Pop-Rocks
Actually, a girl once dared me to let her do this to me... let's just say it was quite a night.
61. Cthulhu
Tastes like fear and souls

60-51[edit]

Strangely Oven Roasted Chicken and Bumsekks is not listed.
60. Your fat black momma
Tastes like an old used shoe
59. Polish
People from Poland, not the shiny stuff.
58. Austrailia
For when you want to go down under...
57. Beached whale
Tastes the same as the Anna Nicole Smith ones
56. ATM
Have you ever licked a dollar bill?
55. Bill Gates
Have you ever licked a dollar, Bill?
54. Used Jock Strap
Yeah.
53. Rotting Flesh
For the gangrene fetish.
52. Bloody Tongue
At least it had good lubricant.
51. Yellow Snow
Momma never told you to not suck on it.

50-41[edit]

50. Grue
It bites back.
49. Fish
for the lesbian in all of us.
48. Dead Puppies
goes well with dead babies
47. Sausage
May encourage bad things...
46. Cum
What's the point?
45. Vagina... AGAIN!
If you're girlfriend/wife/homosexual lover is requesting that you wear this flavour, then I think you might have a little problem if you catch my drift... Also, random guys will definitely try to suck your dick once word gets around that you happen to choose to wear this flavoured-condom.
44. Gasoline
There is a reason that it tastes like gasoline, stupid. You may go to the hospital now. This is also the favourite condom of both the Bush and Bin Laden families!
43. Anti-freeze
See 44 for details... you goddam moron!
42. Lightning
For those of us who like to get...erm...shocked. Damn.
41. Camembert Cheese
Don`t be suprised if a hamster runs out of nowhere and starts worshipping/eating the condom.

40-31[edit]

40. Doom
Omg blood everywhere.
39. Hot dog
Similar, ain`t it?
38. Llama spit
Have you ever been to Peru?
37. Children
It tastes like Abortion
36. Ballsack
Have you ever been to Peru?
35. Pamela Anderson
Mmmm smelly whore.
34. Salad
Hey, Vegetarians need meat too...
33. Ronald McDonald
I'm suckin' it.
32. Mexicans.
Taco with cum flavor. As used by The Mars Volta
31. Shit.
Dude, you never go ass to mouth!

30-21[edit]

30. Mouth.
Can you taste the differance?
29. Skittles.
If you're tasting the rainbow you should be fucking worried.
28. Hepatitis (all).
Refer to #35 and 32.
27. Dead people.
Not everyone likes them stiff.
26. Ron Jeremy.
Seriously, does this need explanation.
25. Raid.
Think about it.
24. Ants.
For one, just why, and for two, blondes would probably follow up with ant poison...
23. Chinese food.
yo' dog.
22. Hemorrhoids.
with hemerrhoids comes preparation h.
21. Obesity.
Just too chunky.

20-11[edit]

20. Vacuum
Sucks. In basicly every definition of the word.
19. Deodorant
For those with odorous genetalia
18. Hitler
The Touch of Rotted Nazism that Everyone Loves
17. Pop Idol Winner
a mixture of the popular Success and Failure condoms that never took off, due to its errant stupidity and lack of intelligence
16. Electricity
Useful for disposing of unwanted lovers. Unfortunately, has the side effect of dismemberment
15. Wii
Try to avoiid playing with iit for too long.
14. Cock
Tastes exactly like #98
13. Anal Leakage
For that diarrhoea moustache you've always wanted
12. Controversial Iranian Waters
11. Shaquille O'Neal
Giant man sweat with a hint of lime!

10-1[edit]

10. Acid (the chemical).
Mmm corrosion. (Guys do you really want that shit on your junk?).
9. Acid (the drug).
Dude, if he/she/it starts hallucinating, you may be minus a cock.
8. Dr. Phil.
For guys with self esteem issues.
7. Fire.
Thats what "warming sensation" condoms are for. Fire = burn.
6. Paris Hilton.
5. D&D
"You enter a room. You see a gigantic condom. What do you do?"
4. Karl Rove's bathroom sink.
3. Cigarette.
Brings whole new meaning to smoking a fag, also greatly increases your risk of infertility and painful death.
2. Pacifier.
You sick FUCK.
1. Yourself.
    Get Her Drunk
0 Self destruction button

NO DON'T TOUCH THAT-

...

I wanted people to add their own rather than me fill in the list.