10 Things I Hate About You

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“I wanked”

~ Oscar Wilde on 10 Things I Hate About You

“Best.Movie.Ever.Made.Heath.Ledger.Is.A. Babe.”

~ Samuel L. Jackson on 10 Things I Hate About You

Synopsis[edit]

A quintessential chick flick story executed with style, panache, and postmodern cinematography, featuring many popular actors such as Heath Ledger, Julia Stiles and Andrew Keegan.

History[edit]

This movie opened on March 31, 1999, and was greeted with universal critical acclaim. Expecting a low-brow comedy, audiences were stunned by the postmodern irony inherent in the movie's execution. Rather than being told what 10 Things Kat Hates About You (that is, you the general public, not you specifically), they were instead treated to a sophomoric attempt at vitriol in the form of a sonnet enumerating the things that she hates about her soon to be boyfriend. It quickly became a breakout hit, with as many as two showings per week in larger cities. It is rumoured that Richard the III commissioned a private performance by the original actors in his bedchamber; while there is no solid evidence for this, it is a documented fact that David Krumholtz received his peerage around this time.

This epic story of love, betrayal, and angry female wannabe rockers inspired the normally easygoing teenagers of Generation X to rise up in rebellion against their feeble adult masters. During the design phase of a new syllabus by the New South Wales Department of Education, the ivory tower intellectuals preparing the curriculum considered not including this canonical piece of modern literature. In response, the youths of Sydney took to the streets of Austria, razing many fine suburbs such as Redfern and Lakemba. The teachers eventually acceded to the students' demands for inclusion, but insisted that students also study the pop-culture trash adaptation The Taming of the Shrew.

Memorable / Funny / Witty Moments All Are Sure To Enjoy[edit]

  • When Joey drew male genitalia on the socially dysfunctional preppie's face.
  • Thought-provoking, pretentiously intellectual feminist psycho-babble from Kate throughout the movie.
  • The cognoscenti among you will enjoy comparing this cinematic achievement with the controversial play which was based on it, Shakespeare's The Taming of the Shrew. In this often neglected play, Shakespeare proposes that all women should be submissive bimbos.
  • Bratwurst.
  • Heath Ledgers heart warming performance of that "I Love You Baby" song, which went straight to number one in 15 third world countries. He also sang the same song to his good "friend" Jake Gyllenhaal at a dinner party in Prague.
  • In the sonnet, Kat lists 14 things she hates about Heath, instead of the 10 the title suggests. Apparently, the title "14 Things I Hate About You" wasn't catchy enough.

10 Things I Hate About You[edit]

1. You stole my Playboy Magazine cover story.

2. You're an alien.

3. You're also sexier than me.

4. You aren't inside us. Therefore you are against us.

5. You are a second personal pronoun in Modern English, and I don't like sexual types.

6. Everything has to be about your mom.

7. In Soviet Russia, overused joke is YOON!

8. You ruined the ending to Harry Potter and the Half-Caste Prince for me when I was just getting to the good part.

9. You replaced thou.

10. You skipped to the end of this list because you were too lazy to read some guy's random attempts at being funny.

Another 10 things I hate about you: your ugly, your voice is annoying, you have a weird name, you just seem weird, you passed the test, you make me hate you, you were bored enough to look this up, you think your better than me, you probably are better than me, You're dead now.