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The 1940s was the planetary equivalent of a trip to the Betty Ford clinic.

For some time Venus and Mars had been concerned that Earth's rampant, wanton orgies; binge drinking, and really odd/sad dancing was taking its toll, and needed to be stopped before it led to further poor life-choices, like taking pottery classes or majoring in Sociology.

Earth, who'd grown quite fond of its life of excess—and who'd accumulated a number of witty comebacks to the catcalls and slut references that littered its day—naturally rebelled. It ran away from home and had a brief affair with Pluto, before being forceably taken home and locked in its room. Incensed, Earth took the only available means of resistance, and stopped growing rice and blutwurst. Naturally, the Germans and Japanese were none too happy, and decided to take it out on their neighbours.

After many a year of spitballs, wedgies, and other human tragedy, Venus finally gave in and agreed that Earth could do whatever it wanted, so long as it kept it behind closed doors and presented a public image of wholesomeness.

Human affairs were less easily mended, and the fallout from The Pepsi Challenge led to a number of nations being grounded without telephone privileges, and worldwide restrictions over the possession and use of paper airplane technology.


  • Germany perfects the technique of marching funny while still eliciting fear.
  • Japan pioneers the Wet Willy.
  • Sony introduces the ENIAC radio, the first with an extendable antenna and configurable presets.
  • United Nations is established, despite the US voting "No".
  • We became enemies with our best friends, the Soviet Union.
  • We became friends with our worst enemies, Great Britain.
  • The International Monetary Fund and World Bank open for business, offering a free 2-slice toaster to all nations opening a checking or savings account.
  • Black music begins its inevitable conquest of the planet.
  • Chuck Yeager dies in a failed attempt to buzz Ozzy's tour bus.