1983
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
| Millennium: | 2nd millennium |
|---|---|
| Centuries: | 19th century - 20th century - 21st century |
| Decades: | 1950s 1960s 1970s - 1980s - 1990s 2000s 2010s |
| Years: | 1980 1981 1982 - 1983 - 1984 1985 1986 |
The year of our lord 1983 served as a prequel to the well known Nineteen Eighty-Four and sequel to the obscure 1982. Starting on a Saturday, many children began the year watching Saturday morning cartoons and many Jews began the year resting; things did not get much better for 1983 after that.
Contents |
[edit] 1983 in the World
[edit] January
- January 26 - Lotus releases Lotus 1-2-3, giving accountants something to hate in the years leading up to Microsoft Excel.
- January 31 - United Kingdom mandates the use of seatbelts, taking away everyone's God-given right to kill themselves in gruesome car accidents.
[edit] February
- February 28 - M*A*S*H airs its last episode; out of work, Alan Alda resorts to Scientific American Frontiers to pay the bills.
[edit] March
- March 23 - Michael Jackson invents the moonwalk; NASA immediately promotes Jackson to full astronaut status.
[edit] April
- April 3 - Jesus rises from the dead again; nobody pays much attention this time.
- April 15 - Disneyland Tokyo opens; Japanese copyright terms are extended by 100 years.
[edit] May
[edit] June
- June 13 - Pioneer 10 leaves the solar system, transmitting its final message, "So long, suckers!"
- June 18 - Sally Ride becomes the first American Woman in space; men around the world collectively decry the end of the last place they had left to get away from their wives.
[edit] July
- July 15 - The Nintendo Entertainment System goes on sale in Japan and the world is never the same again.
- July 21 - The lowest temperature on earth is recorded in Vostok Station, Antarctica with −89.2 °C (−128.6 °F), dry ice forms spontaneously and scientists refer to the measurement as, "Really God-damned, fucking cold! I mean, seriously, for fuck's sake it's cold!"
[edit] August
- August 30 - Guion Bluford becomes the first African-American in space; white men, still reeling from having lost space to women, throw up their arms in defeat before going to their rooms to sulk.
[edit] September
- September 5 - NBC appoints Tom Brokaw King of Television.
- September 27 - GNU Project founded; Richard Stallman appoints self God-emperor of free software but everyone continues to think of him as a pudgy nerd with poor hygiene.
[edit] October
- October 21 - At the 17th General Conference on Weights and Measures, scientists finally figure out how long a meter is; the metric system is no longer complete bunk.
- October 25 - Microsoft releases the Word; having regained the Logos, God is able to return to work.
[edit] November
[edit] December
[edit] Undated
- The D.A.R.E. program begins teaching students how to responsibly identify which drugs they will most enjoy.
- Due to an ongoing DEA investigation, Doc Brown is forced to shut down production of his time machine.
