1989 Zombie Invasion
The Zombie Invasion of 1989 is a zombie invasion that occurred in 1989. No one is quite sure what made half of the world's population transform into the crazed un-dead, but government officials have a sneaky suspicion that Roger Coleman is to blame, on the basis that he is a Canadian ultra-nationalist scientist. The investigation ended four weeks ago and it turns out that science was used to turn a rat into a brain dead zombie.
Zombies Still Alive
Although it was thought that all of the zombies were destroyed, some remained. The one zombie is john mccain. He left a few hints for his fellow zombie "friends" in his speeches. That is why he wants national health care so he can turn the rest of us into the undead, so he may invade the Philippines!
Another known zombie is Jim Henson (no, not the muppet man.) He is known to have invented cold fusion, but I'm sure that it is actually a device to destroy mankind.
On an interesting side note, The lone hero after Chuck Norris and his army fell was Matt Flynn. In a drunken stupor he managed to destroy the zombie horde.
Asking Someone About The Zombie Invasion
Although the invasion was a life-changing moment in history and affected many people, all records have somehow been wiped and if you ask someone who was around in 1989 about the invasion, they won't have the faintest idea what you're talking about because of govt. cover-ups and marshal law.
The invasion begun on January 22nd 1989 and ended December 16th the next year.
What Exactly Happened
During the winter of 1988, chemists were experimenting with the effect of a chemical in certain plastics on rodents, which ended with dead rats. The scientists had noticed the rats had awaken the very next day, so they left them in their cages to study. The scientists left, and the rats were gone when they returned. Three days later, a man awoke at his funeral and attacked his alive and healthy family, except for his Uncle Sherm, who was on oxygen. The zombie then began attacking the good townsfolk, the bad townsfolk, and the masonic lodge down the road. The national guard was then called in to quell the insurgency, but no good was done, in the fact that hoards of zombies were roaming right into their center flank! The undead then began spawning across the planet, as it was discovered that the chemical had been dumped into the water supplies of every developed nation on the planet.
The zombies moved very quickly into the undeveloped regions, as the weapons they fought with were too primitive, even for a zombie. A month after the invasion began, the normal humans began to resist the zombie shock troops. Chuck Norris, who was then the most powerful live person on the planet, led the resistance against the zombies, but he had trouble collecting members. Christopher Eccleston, second in command, was a known Vietnam War veteran who had his own weapons stockpile. He managed to collect enough spare ammunition, but he was killed by friendly fire whilst taking an armory. John Lennon & George Harrison, who were sick of the violence due to their somewhat hippie nature, were compelled to join the humans with Paul and Ringo to help quell the violence and end the thing all together.
Three more months into the fighting, the humans had pushed the zombies back to the farthest edges of their captured territory. Jack Bauer, who'd captured a zombie, managed to question it until it almost bit him, but it gave him the information he needed. The fighting lasted almost a year after the interrogation, and the human army made it to the main zombie stronghold in Cleveland, Ohio. This very last battle is where Captain Obvious made his famous statement "Holy Shit! It's a dead guy!"
It was only a matter of time before the resistance against the zombies surfaced. The world elected a group leader to take charge in these dark times. That leader was Chuck Norris. General Norris put together a group of warriors to fight back, such notable warriors included:
- Chuck Norris (Obviously first in command)
- Christopher Eccleston; second in command.
- John Lennon & George Harrison; crossed sides.
- Captain Obvious,(who said the now famous quote:"Holy Shit! It's a dead guy!")
- Jack Bauer, who questioned the brainless zombies about their HQ
- Sven Goran Eriksson
- Paolo Nutini
- Matt Damon
- Rick Wakeman