1992

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

Jump to: navigation, search
Millennium: 2nd millennium
Centuries: 19th century - 20th century - 21st century
Decades: 1960s  1970s  1980s  - 1990s -  2000s  2010s  2020s
Years: 1989 1990 1991 - 1992 - 1993 1994 1995

1992 Anonymously Drunk was sometime between the Gulf War and the Animainacs premiere. It began on a Wednesday, meaning it was the first "National Hump the Drunk Day" since 1986. Not only that but 1992 was the first leapfrog year since 1988. On November 24, Elizabeth II deemed the year Anus Horribilis which, according to her, means "horrible year", but my six year old cousin (who informed me that Santa Claus was actually Jewish) said it means "ugly butt".

Contents

[edit] Year of the PC police

1992 is the year when Americans were glee to celebrate the 500th jubilee of Christopher Columbus discovered the New World. Then came the usual bunch of activists known to shout "fur is murder", "NO means NO" and "We're here, we're queer, get used to it", they condemned the genocide of Native Americans that followed Columbus' expedition. Also in the year, PC whiners condemned the L.A. Riots as a sign of racism never went out of style in the 90s, the Anita Hill racket case of exaggerated "sexual harassment" and the time set for 15 years until the far-left Democrats to commit revenge after the far-right Republicans in control of the house-and-senate. Bill Clinton won the presidency for being liberal, though he's for the corporate regime of the new world order government. Meanwhile, Ross Perot can't do shit with his anti-NAFTA talk and Pat Buchanan said "take back our cities and culture" to be painted a Nazi racist.


[edit] Events of 1992

[edit] January

[edit] February

[edit] March

  • March 3 - Keanu Reeves eyes were declared "clinically dead".
  • March 16 - 30 inches of rain fall on Los Angeles, the year when life sucked (and will get only worse for poor lil' California).
  • March 17 - St. Patricks' Day parades become not P.C. because a few gay men can't join the fun, and urged to start their own "Irish Gay Pride" event.
  • March 18 - Windows 3.1 is released by Microsoft. Do I really have to explain what went wrong this day?
  • March 24 - A Chicago, Illinois, judge approves cash rebates of up to $3 to anyone who bought a Milli-Vanilli record ever. A scandal later broke out when it was discovered the judge was actually lip-syncing.
  • March 30 - Another 30 inches of rain fell in L.A.

[edit] April

  • April 1 - Billy Idol admits to punching a hooker in the face. Idol is fined and ordered to make public service announcements against prostitute abuse. A similar incident occurs in February 2009 when Vince "The ShamWow Guy" Shlomi punches a $3 whore.
  • April 2 - In New York, the infamous Mafia boss John Gotti (or "The Diaper Don" as he liked to be called) is sentenced to life in prison for being "a true O-G."
  • April 6 - Barney and accomplices begin melting both pothead's and children's brains through the television.
  • April 12 - Disneyland Paris officially re-opens under the name "EuroDisney". It's still the least crowded amusement park in the world.
  • April 13 - The Great Chicago Flood occurs. Shit is EVERYWHERE!!!
  • April 19 – Benny Hill, British comedian and actor, dies. Comedy takes a major hit.
  • April 29 - Rodney King is acquitted for attacking four white police, causing the 1992 Los Angeles riots which led to 53 deaths, $1 billion in damage, and Dr. Dre to record an album about marijuana which would be released later on in the year.
  • April 29 - Martin Luther King Jr.'s grave spins.
  • April 30 - Bill Cosby was finally kicked off television, a good five years after he had been officially certified as "insane in the membrane".
  • April 30 - In Los Angeles, California, Madonna's breasts are stolen. A $1,000 reward is offered for their return.

[edit] May

  • May 1 - Racism outlawed in America, ban on Communism lifted. Uno de Mayo celebrations across Aztlan by Hispanics wanting to be the new "black".
  • May 5 - After 202 years of procrastinating, Alabama ratifies a proposed amendment to the United States Constitution making the 27th Amendment law. Congress gets pissed as it can no longer give itself pay-raises midterm.
  • May 12 - No. 1 hit on radio was "Achy Breakin' Heart" (in the red states), but "Cop Killer" in the blue states.
  • May 19 - In Massapequa, New York, Amy Fisher shoots Mary Jo Buttafuoco. Hehehe, Buttafuoco.
  • May 22 - After 30 years, Johnny Carson retires as host of NBC's Tonight Show. Comedy another takes a major hit.
  • May 25 - Jay Leno becomes the new host of NBC's Tonight Show, following the retirement of Johnny Carson. Comedy is declared dead.

[edit] June

They even released a new "diktionary".
  • June 3 - Four nuclear missiles are launched into the Pacific Ocean killing a dolphin. PeTA protests the dolphin's death.
  • June 10 - Murphy Brown becomes a single mom, a 41-year old white professional reporter for the alledgedly controversial feministic cause for women everywhere to have a kid out of wedlock without anyone complaining about it, except for..(see the vice president below).
  • June 15 - During a spelling bee in the newly rebuilt Trenton, New Jersey elementary school, U.S. Vice President Dan Quayle forever changes the spelling of the word potato, indicating it should have an e at the end, cause he "likes E's a lot!!" Other words that were changed include: Fuck (to Fecke), Hitler (to Eh, itler) and Moo (to PURTYKITTEE!!!).
  • June 19 - Batman Returns to the theatre where his parents had been killed years before. He fights the drunken Danny DeVito and a cat.
  • June 21 - The Sister Soulja Moment to equally pissed off Clinton, Bush and Perot on the US government's failed mission to outlaw rap music.
  • June 28 - 10 major earthquakes shake the hell outta Southern California that day. If you were out in Palm Springs you would understand. Meanwhile, L.A. continues to fall apart by all that crap going on...and needed the 7.5 earthquake (it'll come in 1994).

[edit] July

  • Eh, nothing funny or interesting happened. Sorry.

Bullcrap: More black people rioted in cities, Gang war intensifies in California between fellow black and Chicano gangs, Puerto Ricans also rioted in New York City during the Democratic National Convention, H. (stands for Hitler) Ross Perot quits the US presidential campaign and Gay marriage protests in California (why is it them again?).

[edit] August

[edit] September

[edit] October

  • October 1 - Cartoon Network launches in America. After airing several Bugs Bunny cartoons (the first being Bohemian Rhapsody Rabbit), the network needed some new shows. They offered Space Ghost a talk-show to compete with Leno (who was still new to the late-night talk-show biz) and Letterman. Unfortunately, Space Ghost had to go through a 12-step sobriety program that took a year to complete before he was legally allowed to be on television. By this time, Leno had secured his audience, and Space Ghost never matched in the ratings. I know. Sad story.
  • October 3 - Some lady nobody remembers anymore rips up a photo of Pope John Paul II on Saturday Night Live, causing huge controversy, leading the switchboards at NBC to ring off the hook for the first time ever.
  • October 9 - The sky falls down on some family's Chevrolet Malibu destroying it.
  • October 12 - In the Dominican Republic, Pope John Paul II celebrates the 500th anniversary of the meeting of 2 cultures by forcing his religion on them once more.
  • October 24 - The Toronto Blue Jays win the World Series in 6 games, becoming the first Canadian team to win. Great! First they make space lame, now baseball!

[edit] November

  • November 3 - 1992 U.S. presidential election: Bill Clinton defeats incumbent U.S. President George H. W. Bush and businessman Ross Perot. Hooray!
  • After the death of Tails, Sonic the Hedgehog goes Super Saiyan and begins his epic fight with Frieza.
  • November 24 - Elizabeth II of the United Kingdom describes this year as an Anus Horribilis (horrible year), due to various scandals damaging the image of the Royal Family, as well as the Windsor Castle fire. Chicago also agrees, due to the great sewage overflow from earlier in the year.

[edit] December

[edit] Popular songs of 1992

As with most years, with the notable exception of 1980, 1992 had a list of popular songs. Here are some of the best most memorable.

As you can see, musicians in 1992 were quite... Original.

[edit] Births

[edit] Deaths

Benny Hill - The True King of Comedy
  • April 5 - Sam Walton, founder of Wal-Mart and the guy responsible for the economic collapse of 2008.
  • April 6 - Isaac Asimov, Russian-born robot lawyer and politician.
  • April 19 - Benny Hill, awesome British guy, also the only honest politician since Adolf Hitler.
  • May 6 - Marlene Dietrich, German-born American actress, singer, painter, oceanographer, backing dancer, stage manager, best boy, author, chef, soldier, chemist and personal assistant, most notable for e-inventing her image to keep up with the fickle world of acting, singing, painting, oceanographing, backing dancing, stage managing, being a best boy, writing books, cooking, fighting, making chemicals, and answering phone calls, all while doing the boss.
  • May 12 - Mike Brady, father of the three boys of the Brady Bunch, therefore the way they felt about Marsha wasn't at all incestuous so quit claiming it was, dies of AIDS.
  • May 17 - Lawrence Welk, American musician.
  • May 25 - Comedy... DAMN YOU JAY LENO!!!
  • August 12 - John Cage, American martial artist.
  • September 12 - Norman Bates, cross-dressing serial killer.
  • November 22 - Winnie the Pooh, bear.
  • December 22 - Frederick William Franz, a member of the Governing Body of Jehovah's Witnesses and 4th President of Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society. Seriously.

[edit] See also

1726 Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)

Retrieved from "http://mirror.uncyc.org/wiki/1992"
Personal tools
on Uncyclopedia