On this Day
The first act of Genocide occurred when Cain picked up a big Rock and hit his brother Abel with it. Killing him and eradicating 1/4 of the Earths entire population.
The dispute arose when God decided to have a contest between the brothers to see which one was his very best friend. Abel won the Contest by providing Sheep for a Bar-b-que which is always a winner. Cain provided only vegetables and grains, which was wrong because it implys veganism, and everyone knows Heaven hates Democrats. If Cain had used his potatoes to make Vodka, his Corn to make Moonshine, and his hops and barley to make Beer, might have been a different story.
Cain was subsequently branded with the mark of a murderer and chased out into the desolation of the wilderness, where we his offspring are cursed to work 24/7 in order to pay good money for vegetables that would make the Lord mad.
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