2005 McDonald's Revolution

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The official flag of the revolution, made of sinew and McDonald's condiments, valued materials in the revolution

The 2005 McDonald's Revolution immediately followed the 2004 McDonald's Revolution. The McDonald's revolution was lead by the Royal family To build a McDonald's in every vacant public space, and later take over the world. The leader of the Revolution, Ashlee Simpson, reportedly said on Saturday Night Live: "Zucchini zucchini zucchini!" as a response to the lack of vegetables in McDonald's salads.

Impacts on Society[edit]

It greatly impacted the Poor Obese and Oblong Preachers society (the POOP society) when the 2005 MR pillaged their headquarters in their leader's hometown in Dallas, Texas. It's has also boosted employment rates in Svalbard by building 10 restaurants in Barentsburg and hiring several politicians fleeing assassination and searching for the finest Australian Shiraz. Moosejaw, Saskatchewan, Canada has also been affected. Due to McDonald's use of "Only the finest Brazilian cows", Alberta's beef economy is dwindling, losing even more money than from the BSE crises. A former Albertan farmer was reported saying "this sucks, eh?" and he and many other persons in the ranch business moved to Saskatchewan in search of a better economy, and wheat.

Opposition to the 2005 MR[edit]

Avril Lavinge, a spokesperson and widow of Colonel Sanders, was the leader of the Kentuckistan Fried Chicken Party of Canada. A strictly anarchist party, the KFCP was a long time rival of the MR revolution, promised revenge after Simpson revealed that the secret blend of the eleven herbs and spices were mainly made up of the ground up concrete from the old highway 401, the main road that travels through Avril Lavigne's hometown, Bangcock, Ontario. In response, Lavigne declared: "The salt that built up on the road makes it fit for human consumption." Even though her remark made it on Hungary national news, whose capital, Zalaegaereeszerberg has the most Kentucy Fried Chicken buildings in the World (according to the Guinzgossehog Book of World Records), it did not stop the closing of almost 3 restaurants worldwide.

The Assassination[edit]

On October 27th, 2005, Avril took out her anger on Ashlee. According to Avril's bandmates, who turned on her after Avril slipped her unused chicken into her vegetarian bandmate's pizza, Avril reportedly took an unscheduled vacation to Ashlee's hometown. Lavigne was spotted sneaking into a restaurant called "Haag" which served Serbia cuisine. Avril reportedly:

"Beat Ashlee to death with a zuccini after she made fun of Avril's taste in sk8ter type bois. Ashlee was rushed to the nearest hospital in an ambulance, immediately followed by a police car carrying Avril to the Police station next door to the hospital. The owner of the bar did not interfere for he 'hoped they'd have a catfight'. Ashlee was in the restaurant celebrating her campaign party." -Weekly World News

The 2005 McDonalds revolution was immediately halted with the unfortunate death of their leader Miss Ashlee Simpson and the scheduled execution of Avril Lavigne in 2009.

Notes[edit]

Previous Leaders of the Revolution were:

  • 2001: George W. Bush Senior (Former US president)
  • 2002: Britney Spears (Pop superstar)
  • 2003: Jack Layton (NDP leader of Canada)
  • 2004: Homestar Runner (A terrific athlete)

The 2006 campaign was stupi and isis supposed to be the best so far, as the leader will be from the Rhinocerous Party of Canada, famous for many demeaning and misleading policies, such as "paving Manitoba and making the world's largest McDonald's parking lot." The campaign is to start on the 2006 Leap Year.hi