2011

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2011 (The Year)[edit]

(The Year) 2011 started on a Saturday in the gregorian calendar and was, contrary to the rumors, last year. (The Year) 2011 is often described as the year where preliminary doom took place, ahead of the 21/12/2012 which will follow. The United Nations declare 2011 as the "International Year of the start of Doom"

2011, The year that Rebecca Black made Friday. Other than that I'm just guessing its a year closer to 2012 where most of the people believe its the end of the world

Events in 2011[edit]

January[edit]

January 1st - January 1st or New Year's blasted day. BANG! January 1st doesn't exist anymore.

January 4th - Partial Solar Eclipse. Half Moon - No Moon - Half Sun - All Sun - Burns your eyes (AAAAAAHHHHHH! I'm blind!)

January 10th - Loads of babies born on a new series of "One Born Every Minute" (The Year)

January 11th - There will be many deaths of old or unimportant people from here to October 21st.

January 14th- a gay German invents a device that can switch people genitals.

January 15th - The crazy bitch switches all human genitals. Now men everywhere are playing with there boobs.

January 15th - Lady Gaga is considered normal to the public now that she has a vagina.

January 16th - There will be another earthquake in Britain as we have been bad people ( with new boobs ).

January 18th - There will be another earthquake in the Rest of the World as we have been bad people ( with new boobs ).

January 18th - Every shop in Ireland will simultaneously disappear for the next forseeable future. (The Year)

January 0th - The 2 in January 20th has disappeared!

January 0th - Astronauts across the world realizes that the world doesn't care about them anymore as there has been lots of time since they went to space.

January 0th - Women are unhappy with new dicks.

January 0th - Men are unhappy with their new periods.

January 0th - iTunes doesn't exist anymore. People around the Globe panic.

January 21th - The Mars Kingdom invades Venus and renames it VeTunes. Humans cheer, but they have to pay $5 per song.

January 22nd - The International Space Station (ISS) goes to Venus to protest song payments. They bake to death.

January 23rd - The ISS returns to Earth freshly cooked from Venus. Humans eat the cadavers and say it was yummy. Everyone forgets about the song payments.

January 24th - All 2005823968 governments of the world decide to bring back the death penalty because the humans tasted so great.

January 25th - The first man to be killed in Britain by death penalty in over 200 years is killed, for leaving his town when his parents told him not to.

January 26th - Britain abolishes the death penalty again because the boy wasn't tasty enough.

January 2th - The 7 in January 27th has disappeared, leading to an investigation into why this has happened again across the world.

January 2th - 6000395057 out of the 6129305036 people decide that they are being murdered by some mysterious force.

January 28th - A man comes fully back to life and his corpse restored, the first man ever on Earth that has a penis, since the genital switching.

January 28th - The man fucks Lady Gaga and are famous for being the first normal couple since the genital switching.

January 28th - The population of the world decides to panic and loot because they realise the end of the world is now only a couple of months away.

January 30th - Price of fuel across the world rockets by 7500%, meaning the average price of fuel per litre is now 900023.9p

January 30th - All but the petrol industry goes bankrupt, with the petrol industry getting an extra $5 quadrillion per day.

January 31st - Doritos become extinct.

January 31st - There are now 2 people previously dead but is now alive again. Lady Gaga gets to have a threesome with the 2 men.

February[edit]

February 0st - Subway invents a new day called February 0st. Everywhere, gays and Hillary Clinton's cat celebrates with nice, hot dry sex.

February 0st - Hillary Clinton's cat dies due to vaginal inflamation.

February 1st - 4,000 people die of hunger - all of which are fatties who can't go without food for any more than 10 seconds.

February 1st - People in North Africa invent a machine to bring back money.

February 2nd - North Africans all put £1 towards the fund, and the multiplication factor set to 20. That means people should get £20 back. They get too much money as everyone in the world puts £1 in.

February 2nd - The machine blows up, murdering 5 billion people.

February 3rd - China move to North Africa, gets all the money (£120bn)(The Year) and take their wall with them.

February 4th - Dalek Invasion - yet some people hitch a ride to a planet 40 light years away.

February 4th - Lady Gaga gets AIDS form the 3 men. Lady Gaga gets revenge by eating the bottom half of one of the 3 men.

February 4th - The 3 men Get their own show called Two and a Half Men.

February th - The 5 has gone again!

February 6th - A new virus wipes out 70% of the new planet's population - everyone not infected is not infected.

February 7th - " I totally just farted ! " Katy Perry's final words before she dies.

February 7th - Humans homeless - Earth is replaced by a death star. The Sun is taken over control by Michele Obama and creates The Sun Empire

February 8th - Paris Hilton becomes an outstanding citizen. People across the globe panic.

February 8th - The human race decides to change the date from February 9th to November 20th, 2011.

February 8th - Humans find VeTunes HQ and take all their money.

February 9th - The Mars Kingdom invades Earth and has sex with all the women, only to find out they have dicks. The Martians die due to thier STDs.

February 10th - The Mars Kingdom gets a new ruler named Ni-Pul.

February 30th - The human race inexplicably dies, but then comes back to life magically by the power of unicorns.

March[edit]

March 1st: Derpy Day (MUFFINS, DERP).

March 15h: Nate Dogg dies of drinking anus.

March 24th: Cat the Colourful celebrates birthdays by giving cookies.

April[edit]

Doesn't Exist - but the human race did plan on reinstating it.

May[edit]

Doesn't Exist ..and so does the supposed Rapture of May 21st.

May 22th: Harold Pimping announced that he is soon to retire from his cult FamilyGuyRadio. Mayonnaise:Harold Pimping supposedly died out of embarassment.

May 26th: Richard draws a funny stickman.

June[edit]

June 18th: Tom Cruise, who is not gay, goes to The Mars Kingdom.

June 27th: Tom Cruise is considered gay by Martians.

July[edit]

July 4th: Death of Sarah Palin's cat

July 5th - Two and a Half Men gets cancelled. The 3 men commit suicide.

August[edit]

August 5th - 9 Cats Get Shot

September[edit]

Primus sucks, again.

October[edit]

October 30th-Blackberry's go haywire and kill everyone in Norwich. And Seattle.

October 31st - The world's best Halloween event happens, and then demons eat 7 kids.

November[edit]

November 20th - The new date from February 9th.

November 21st - God sets the human ship on Fire as he forgot to do that a month ago. (Everyone on the ship was simultaneously having sex with eachother)

November 22nd - Michele Obama destroys the Sun and everyone on Earth dies.

November 23rd - The Sun explodes ! (Meanwhile, in the tower of revenge!!!) BLACK HOLE - WE WILL DESTROY THE UNIVERSE! Others - Muhahahaha! The Solar System - We'll Do it First!

November 24th - All life everywhere dies because of radiation!

November 25th - The Black Holes Collide - The End of the Universe and (The Year)

December[edit]

Doesn't Exist. (Reboot(The Year) due January 1 (The Year).

Births[edit]

January 10th - Lots

Deaths[edit]

February 0st - Hillary Clinton's cat

February 1st - 4,000 people

February 2nd - 5,000,000,000 people

February 4th - All but a few

February 6th - 70% of life left

February 30th - Everyone.

May 1st - Osama Bin Laden & His Breadsticks

July 4th- another cat dies

August 5th - a shitload of more cats die

November 21st - Devoid of life, until the universe explodes and life is back again.

November 25th - The new universe's first Thanksgiving is not celebrated because everybody is plants.

Holidays[edit]

January 1st - New Year's Day

January 2nd - Holiday (Scotland)

February 0st - Gay Cat Orgy Day

February 9th to November 19th - All holidays as they don't exist.

December 25th - It was Christmas. (The Year)

December 26th - Boxing Day (The Year)

December 27th - The Day of the Golden Nugget

December 30th - Climate Sucks Day

December 31st - The Jeremy Kyle Show - An ignorant idiot goes on the show and turns Jeremy Kyle into King Kong as he said something annoying and idiotic.

January 0th - The Same day as December 31st - The Queen hates working on January 0th so made it a holiday.

January -1st - Uhhhhh.....

See also[edit]