2000 AD - 2099 AD
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- If you're still living in the 90s, see The Millennium
- For the emofied first decade of the century, see The Two-Thousands
This page is a member of the Uncyclopedia Timeline. If an event isn't listed in the timeline, it most likely happened.
Represented here are the time periods from 2000 AD to 2099 AD.
- Whoa! Y2K Struck with terrible force and made all computers' heads asplode!
- A crane replaced the "0" in the 20th Century Fox logo with a "1". (Hey, what? It's 2000. they gotta change the logo).
- Life in the year 2000 was totally excellent.
- Ralph Nader is destroyed by all things.
- Snoopy was dismantled and sold for scrap metal by evil forces on a mission to Prague. The mission was to prevent Prague from separating from the United Kingdom of America. The Peanuts crew was successful but, in addition to Snoopy dying, Schroeder, Team Dark Knight, Spike, and Woodstock were all killed. Charlie Brown retired, leaving Lucy, Linus, and Rerun. The Van Pelt siblings decided to disband Peanuts. A week later, Charles M. Schulz gets killed in a bombing of Florida by Republicans who were trying to force Floridians to vote for them. They succeeded and George W. Bush was elected President.
- The PlayStation 2 began its reign of terror.
- Canada put a nation-wide ban on Family Guy and all other family-related things.
- The episode of The Simpsons in which Homer is raped by a panda was first aired (except in a few Southern states, where it was censored).
- Following the Y2k fiasco, Epic Failing is invented, much to the joy of nerds everywhere.
- May 5: all of the planets aligned in a row...and nothing happened. The earth is still here, get over it.
- September 8th: England opened its first rehab center for junkies hooked on the substance air.
- purist claims that 2001 start of the new millennium,
- January 15: Wikipedia began its reign of terror.
- September 11:
"Look in the sky, is a bird, is it a plane.... well whatever it is its heading directly for the world trade center"
- September 14: Uncyclopedia is invaded by Wikipedia, Un-Wiki war starts.
- Dave Thomas died.
- Yoko Ono still couldn't fucking sing.
- Winter Olympics held in Salt Lake City, Utah, thanks to the great bribing skills of IOC officials. Those mormons sure are very nice, clean, moral, or ethical.
- America attacked Iraq. Also known as "Operation: GO, TEAM! GO!"
- The wheel became available in Denmark.
- Movement began to impeach George Bush, based on an unjustified war. It eventually failed, due to procrastination.
- November 18: Neverland Ranch was raided again after ten years.
- Johnny Cash fell into a burning ring of fire and died.
- Your mom is made public.
- Modern Society went down the Toilet.
- TV Tropes is created solely to spread fear and hatred of all kinds across Dystopia.
- SARS was legalized on the condition that it isn't used to kill Dubya or Dick Cheney.
- Yahoo workers were found guilty of kidnapping the Runaway Bride.
- Encyclopedia Dramatica was born, and held responsible for the death of 160,000 people.
- Bush was re-elected through more "butterfly ballots", "hanging chads" and other jokes in presidential elections we knew about went on for 230 years.
- April 4th: Neopets.com let players kill other accounts as much as they please, all day.
- April 11: Kurt Poopy-Diaper Cobain dies of carbon monoxide poisoning after putting his lips around the exhaust pipe for 4 whoppin'-ass hours, apparently wondering what makes cars run.
- January 24: Pink Floyd released their album Animals, spawning 4 songs: One about pigs, one about a dog, one about sheeps, and one about pigs, dogs, and buggers.
- Febuary 12: YouTube was invented (bad to start with).
- Uncyclopedia was created by the nation of Uncyclopedia, much unfunny crap is produced.
- June 29th,:War Of the Worlds starts
- June 31st,:War of the worlds ends due to the aliens getting colds and not inventing Teyanol.
- Agust 1st,The world forgets what happened yesterday and coninues what they where doing .
- August 14th: Helios Flight 522 bellyflops onto a hill somewhere in Greece pancaking all 121 hoomans on board out of existence.
- August 29th: Hurricane Katrina hit the Gulf Coast. President Bush ignored Louisiana while focusing on Iraq. New Orleans sank into the sea.
- October 5th: The Twilight Virus is released!
- October 6th: The Twilight Virus has made thousands of people addicted to its malignancy!
- October 7: The antidote to The Twilight Virus is created, however, it turns out to be just another malignancy, equal to the the virus itself.
- November 23rd: ABC announced that they were planning to cancel their hit television series Alias, causing fans everywhere to make an oath that they will not eat until J.J. Abrams revokes his decision. He didn't; they died. This helped give the stupid people leverage.
- Uncyclopedia started to not suck quite as much.
- Niggerlodeon was cancelled.
- Zinedine Zidane headbutts his front door to open it.
- June 22: The last Superman movie ever in the world is released to cinemas. SPOILER: Superman dies.
- The PS3 was finally released in Europe, an entire year after it was suppose to be released.
- Billy Mays yells.
- A Nigerian oilman's relatives make you a generous offer.
- Shite hit the fan. Bush is replaced by Obama. Iceland's government collapses. Björk is not happy. No seriously. There's a recession, but everybody at least dresses up for it.
- The PS3 turns out not to be bad all. Apart from that, there's not many games to choose from because none has been done for PS3 yet. In conclusion, the PS3 was boring as hell.
- Nevada joins the USA. Then withdraws. Then rejoins. Then withdraws again.
- Aliens come to earth in balls of light and caused the world to stay still.
- January 21: George W. Bush begins an unexpected third term as president, while his successur is being inaugurated.
- March 16: "Johnny Test" became popular throughout the USA and Canada. Someone said "Is there ever going to be a Johnny Test movie?"
- April 2: Following a staggering 59 seasons, the medical drama ER finally went off the air, due to low ratings. The last episode, however, was most recognized for its return of dead characters from past episodes. These characters came back in the form of mutated zombies to eat the soul of their old friend and colleague, John Carter; believing it to be the only thing to avenge their fate and bring the hospital back to its former glory. This relevation was hampered, however, when the hospital's schizophrenic helicopter pilot crashed into them, exploding with blood and gore. Due to the hospital becoming contaminated, everybody died, anyways. Everybody, except Carter. He miraculously escaped back to Darfur with his wife, Kem.
- May 17: Minecraft is created. Notch is blown up by a creeper on the first test run.
- June 4: The Great Celebrity Wipeout of 2009 began. It started with the death of porn star David Carradine, and ended with the murder-suicide between Walter Cronkite and the Grim Reaper, himself. Among many more, some victims of the wipeout include Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson, Billy Mays, Harrison Ford, George Clooney, Jeff Goldblum, That One Guy, and Britney Spears.
- August 24: Senator Ted Kennedy died from a magic bullet that gave him brain cancer which killed him after he died. Obama's plans were flushed down the toilet due to this loss. And, Michael Jackson is still dead.
- August 28: USA send a useless piece of junk to space, again. But, nobody cared because Michael Jackson is dead
- August 29: Michael Jackson was buried with a bunch of other famous pedophiles. Yes, he is DEAD.
- August 30: Michael Jackson's will was read. He wanted to be cremated and put in a box of Rice Crispies so he could have the feeling of going through a kids ass one more time.
- September 20: The Incredible Hulk's autopsy revealed that he died from a cockmeat burrito that contained smegma.
- October 27: "Johnny Test was never on the Simpsons. But that kid over there looks just like him!"
- November 17: Xbox 360 is released, and does not get the best reception.
- November 23: White people where found in Africa, who were promptly killed and banned. So were yellow people, who where also killed and banned.
- December 3: I just had a boner.
- Eminem wonders why he sang with Rihanna in "Just Gonna Stand Dere And Watch Your Ass Burn Off in Saint Elmo's Fire But That's Alright 'Cuzze I Luv Duh Wae U Lye!".
- Large portions of humanity died off, due to the fact that they they could no longer join the two '0's together after the '2' while writing the year. Modern civilization collapses.
- The Large Hadron Collider was scheduled to be tested, but the tests were postponed until 2011.
- Everyone died of Swine Flu.
- The RPPAPLS Utumbu Makimbu got the Decade Bug (like the Millennium Bug, but it happens every decade), killing Oprah Winfrey and Jimmy Neutron.
- Hero Factory replaced Bionicle. Now you can cry.
- People that never died before died.
- Swine Flu was proven fake. However, the Squirrel AIDS epidemic swept the Earth. Specialists dubbed the disease "Squaids".
- Your best friend started selling either Avon or Amway, and your cousin got a job with Vector Marketing selling cutlery.
- January 8th: Wikipedia adopted a new policy, making it a bannable offense to not conform to the point of view of an admin.
- February: President Barack Obama revealed the existence of Guantanamo Bay Prison and Area 51. Citizens stated "BIG SURPRISE".
- Febuary 30th: The Miz FINALLY became WWE Champion
- March 7: The Academy Award Massacre toke place. Over 2000 celebrities, workers, civilians and paparazzi were killed, while another 500 were arrested or on the run.
- April 3rd: The iPad was released. Millions killed. The trouser industry goes into liquidation.
- April 19: The United Kingdom General Election has been underway. And no one gave a shit. The three leaders were having a dissing match on TV.
- June 12: The World Cup begins. To the delight of many people.
- June 25: Michael Jackson came back and performed "Thriller", just to be killed after the performances was over.
- July 9: The World Cup ends, to the disarray and loss of hearing of many people. Others have gone deaf compeletely from the vuvuzelas.
- August 14th: WARNING: INVASION OF JAPAN IN PROGRESS. PLEASE DO NOT SHUT DOWN YOUR COMPUTER.
- September Eleventieth: Skype bought out Uncyclopedia for 13.7 million USD.
- December 24th:I got a nike for christmas!
- December 25th: Your mom finally got the couch you've been wanting for 16 years since 2001.
- December 26th: Fifty people just realised the last post made no sense.
- December 28th: Osama bin Laden was found to be hiding in the North Pole with Santa, the Easter Bunny, and Chuck Norris....Bob Dylan showed up without an invitation and things got awkward...
- December 31: At the very end of the 00s, all idealisms are boycotted by Neo-Nihilism.
- Eminem is still trying to figure it out
- February 11th: African Americans are finally given a legit income for post slavery.
- February 12th: The United State's economy booms out of recession due to KFC sales and FuBu
- The Large Hadron Collider was scheduled to be tested, but the tests were postponed until December 21, 2012.
- April 7th: Kenny blew himself up with fireworks, whilst celebrating independence day; South Park fell into shambles.
- Caillou takes a dump on Fanboy And Chum Chum.
- Gaddafi's face melts completely. Libyan population celebrates.
- A generation of teens got their driver's license, but had only one year to enjoy it before civilization collapsed and the world ended.
- May 1st : Oh my god they actually got him!
- May 5th: lunamaria hawke and athrun zala were assassinated by chairman durandal resulting in the absolution(toonami) to crash into pakistan and sweden. 5,000 people, including may(pokemon)are killed.
- May 21st: That stupid christian shit goes by without a trace. However, Harold "Chicken Little" Camping decides to try again October 21st 2011.
- June 13th: New episodes of "Johnny Test" return for that day but they're gonna smell like a truckload of diapers!
- August 30th: WoW was shut down for days, which resulted in many fat kids' corneas being burned out from normal solar exposure.
- September 10th: The mosque built on the WTC Ground Zero, was blown up a week after construction was finished. The attack was claimed by misguided, radical far-right terrorists. Due to long-standing feuds between the Jewish and the Islamic, Jews were blamed and World War 3 began.
- September 10th - October 22nd: Rugby World Cup 2011 was held in New Zealand, where several teams were conveniently eaten by Sheep. BAA! BAA! The All-Black sheep win.
- October 18th: Ehmudh Firdausi turned 14
- October 21st: The world ends! No, just kidding. The only person who's world ends is Harold Camping, who trips on a crumb and dies.
- Something happens
- November 5th: Turns out Mexico is really the most powerful country on earth....who'da thunk it?
- December 21st: With only one year left to go, people started rioting, looting stores, and going crazy. Prices skyrocketed, due to higher demand of food, emergency supplies, and gasoline.
- December 23rd: An unnamed hero in Haiti begins to bring down the Femiklan within the nation, after well over a year of subjugation of the entire male populating, from ages 0 to 100, solely for being born Male, since the earthquake.
- December 31: At the withdrawal from Iraq, the "Literacy Demolition" cult is created by Kevin J. Anderson.
- January 16: Megavideo is brutally murdered by the government.
- January 25: Megavideo's funeral. Kim Dotcom reads the eulogy.
- February 3: SOPA passes. Internet ends.
- March 1: Justin Bieber goes through puberty and America finds some other teenager to obsess about.
- We all DIE. Again.
- New Diet Caffeine Free Coca-Cola Black Cherry Vanilla Raspberry Black Citra Light Sango Orange Lime Citrus Zest Sweetened With Splenda Plus with Lemon C2 Zero (new and improved flavor) was introduced. YOU BOUGHT IT.
- The Simpsons' 252h year on the air, "Totally Spies" was considered classic anime and "Ninja Turtles" or "Pokemon" was more famous than Mickey Mouse or Bugs Bunny.
- May or something: A British general election resulted in a landslide victory for the Monster Raving Loony Party. All motorways in the country were closed to traffic and converted to large cycle paths. Jeremy Clarkson was appalled and urged people to rise up against the new government. Intense rioting all over Britain forced the government to re-open the motorways.
- July 37th: Barack Obama was killed by Chuck Norris because Norris's medicare benefits were cut to pay for Obamacare, or does he?
- July 39th: Due to pressure from state legislatures and governors, the Republican Congress meets and formally dissolves the United States and creates the New Confederate States of America.
- December 21st: The Earth went nova like Alderaan for no reason whatsoever.
- December 22nd: All of humanity, the entire planet, and the galaxy were gone without a trace to the Aliens.
- December 23rd: Chuck Norris was still alive, due to the fact that he's Chuck Norris. Ah HAH!
- December 24th: Everyone and everything is back in the night before christmas, for reasons unexplained.
- December 25th: Vin Diesel arose from the ashes of civilization and battled Chuck Norris.
- December 26th: Then God came, and he decided nobody gives a fuck about Chuck Norris, and gave him the REAL atomic wedgie.
- January 1st: Your corpses all begin the long, slow descent into rot and putridity.
- January 15: FaceBook is raped abnormally hard and killed by some law named CISPA. *sniff* This website was only nine years old!
- January 22nd: The New World Order ends on this very day, since Barack Obama was voted out two minutes ago, thus the Republicans make a triumphant return to corruption.
- January 23rd: The Republicans are overthrown by the S.O.S Brigade and the anarchist ear of U.S.A begins and it is led by none other then Haruhi Suzumiya herself.
- January 27: Facebook's funeral. The eulogy was done by Mark Zuckerburg, the guy who gave birth to the 9-yr-old social network in the first place.
- January 29: Kilbourne Middle School's Internet cessates, the Infinite Campus is shut down along with the KMS website, and the Internet Explorer program is taken off all KMS computers for good.
- November 27th: cheese mothership enters atmosphere, large of amount of cheese forces invade earth
- November 28th: cheese invasion over due to the interference of Oprah Winfrey
- October 10th: The ninth movie in the Saw franchise was decided to be the final chapter, but the creators managed to squeeze another one out.
- December 23rd: Kenny saved Ash's pikachu and a boy and recreated the earth. The world was rebuilt and society went on completely unaffected.
- December 31st: Nothing is important to state after this point.
- March 4: The U.S. economy crashes into a state of despair. Obama laughed, even Jesus himself couldn't resist cracking up!
- April 8: Windows XP ends support. Damn you new Microsoft.
- May 16: SpongeBob SquarePants is cancelled after Christians find out that the King Neptune character makes fun of God.
- June 11 9:00:00 P.M. : World Cup begins in Brazil.
- June 11 9:00:50 P.M. : World Cup ends due to economy crash.
- July 1: U.S. economy bombs again, 95% of America now homeless and roams the streets.
- August 21: Adult Swim comedy Robot Chicken is given the axe after 77 mind-bending seasons.
- September 5: Freshman Slave Labor Day begins, many Freshmen pissed off about a supposed "pool party" scam that TWHS lied to them about.
- October 8: G-BEVs becomes 60 years old.
- December 2: Windows FU still doesn't serve food.
- December 13: The final sequential date 12/13/14.
- January 28: Grandpa Mike dies after trying to bend over and give himself a blowjob, only to break his spine in two and bleed to death on the floor.