2 Guys, a Girl and a Brontosaurus
2 Guys, a Girl and a Brontosaurus, by William Shakespeare, was the first musical ever. It set abnormally low standards for all musicals from that time onwards.
Described later in Mammoth Flesh Weekly as "Such a piece of filth I enjoy throwing rocks on my foot more. The plot was so transparant and the Brontosauras beastly. Those jackasses make me so mad! *throwing a rock down in anger* Fuck! My toe!" (The translators who gave us that rousing piece of text refused to produce the original document, though it is widely accepted that it ended in "Moog!")
The sarcastic, whining, good for nothing actors who produced the musical were mugged then flogged in total silence in back alley. In memory of their deserved punishment there is an annual flogging ceremony every July in which the lowest dregs of the acting community are slowly walloped to death with catskin in an arena lined with pink felt.