4Kids Entertainment

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4Kids is one of the best anime companies ever. It is known for Pokémon, One Piece,and many others. It is loved by concerned parents and 5 year olds. It is also approved and loved by Seto Kaiba while anime "fans" hate them. The whiny fans have that there are:

Problems with 4Kids[edit]

Crappiest. Opening. Themes. Ever.[edit]

Instead of leaving the openings to each anime in a half-decent state by leaving it Japanese, 4Kids insists on turning it into hip, cool rap music that even Eminem would be ashamed of. Parents consider this aspect as "exposing diverse music to kids" while it has been found that the Winx Club theme says "Join her people! Be without you!" when played backward. Also, with the themes, there have been reports of disturbing things heard when you play the theme songs backwards. These have been heard in the theme songs of "Sonic X, One piece, Mew Mew, and even The Winx Club.

Worst choices of shows[edit]

Cases in Point: One Piece, Sonic X. After TWO Pirates of the Carribean movies, they continue to air a show about pirates, only removing all the good parts of being a pirate, like blood, violence, swearing at any and every oppertuntiy, and lots of drinking at every island they bump into, usually followed by an incredibly one-sided fight that will either last for 5 seconds or 50 episodes. Also, Sonic games are good. Sonic shows suck. Parents have said that violent TV shows are bad for their 4 year olds, who are already too old for most of the "jokes" used in 4Kids shows, anyway.

Any successes are based on luck[edit]

Pokemon: 4Kids' only success, just because the die landed on a six, meaning the twin-linked lascannon that just hit a Devilfish with the crew inside exploded, killing the whole crew, and securing the Space Wolves' victory. That meant that 4Kids got Pokemon and the company they were playing were left with Digimon.

The company is staffed with only Managers with pet monkeys[edit]

That means they stuffed their offices with office furniture, that according to Dave Berry, emit particles that shrink your brain. Also, some of the managers were responsible for the Prozac Aztec (or Asstek). That is the only logical explination for all the crap they put out.

History of 4kids[edit]

4entTV[edit]

4kids was started in 1985 by a convicted fugitive named Al Kahn. Al Kahn got into dubbing in the event of one day, he was walking his two dogs, Liberty and Freedom. He walked through a manga store (with blatant disregard for the institution's "No Pets Allowed" policy), and his dogs were crushed by a falling bookshelf. He swore revenge against all modern Japanese artforms that day, even though it was his own folly that killed the dogs. After an unsuccessful Poo of the dogs dub, they changed focus and created a channel called 4entTV. They aired old 1930's era shows. No one cared to watch it, so they forced Fox to make FoxxBox, a channel devoted to Jaime Foxx. It went under, so 4kids was sold to Junichiro Koizumi, who sold it to a parent named Steve Norman. Norman saw a DBZ dub being made, and took Al Kahn hostage if the dub wasn't kiddified. The NPA nearly dropped 4kids' stock so they almost went under. The FBI are looking for Al Kahn and arrest him, but the 4kidsTV stronghold is under the Earth.

New Boss[edit]

4kids got a new CEO named Hades. Hades saw the company and quit in 5 seconds and gave them two cows and moved the office to New York. The stronghold is still in the afterlife, killing all who dared come near it.

The New age of Evil[edit]

Al Kahn, after laying low from the police, snuck back in and re-created 4Kids. He started dubbing new shows, such as Baghdad Mew Mew, because parents agree that the war in Iraq is good for us, and to believe a Monkey Man. They also aired Bitches, F.U. Joe, Crappy, right back up yours, One Piece of Crap, Ugly Disease(2007), Stupid Fucking Ninja Turtles, Sonic EECH Baghdad mew mew(Formerly Known as Minor prostitute mew mew), and Yu-Gay-Ho.