50kings

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Background


The 50Kings are an elite group of students who have set alight the academic flair of Portmarnock Community School, Portmarnock, Co. Dublin. From the class's inception in September 2004, countless miracles have be realized as well cures for some of the world's most aggressive and fatal diseases. This coupled with the financial prowess of Team Business, whose acquisition of AIB, plc. in Transition Year, has lead to the development of 50K, plc. Trading on the Irish and London Stock Exchanges, investors (all 50Kings prior to sale) were delighted to harvest the 600% increase in the company's share prices in spring 2007. Much of this trader confidence was buoyed by reports of certain students undertaking research in the top secret “K11 Labs” and successfully carrying out clinical trials for a cure to certain cancers. These reports are, however, as yet unconfirmed. School of Athens.jpg


A typical 50K class

Junior Certificate Cycle


Many regard the Junior Certificate Cycle of the 50Kings as one of the most remarkable academic times ever. While other class groups slaved over the history of the plantations and factorizing quadratics, the 50Kings were undertaking paid research into the relationship between energy and mass in nuclear reactions. It was from this investigation, in the restricted access "K11 Labs", that the a proportional relationship between the rate at which kinetic energy is created and the mass in a nuclear equation was established. In the world renowned science journal, "50K Today", the equation e=mc2 was stipulated with the speed of light squared established as a constant for the equation. Needless to say, much contention was raised over the validity of this equation but after extensive researchInsert non-formatted text here by 50K in the other labs (namely C4 Labs), this theory was proved and incorporated as physical law. Following this, the 50Kings were awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in Nuclear Physics, an award which they greatly accepted. Honorary Doctorates were also conferred to each member the 50Kings Research Group and to their mentor, the Tutor from Harvard University. After research like this, the Junior Certificate Exam posed few problems and the 50Kings were officially awarded, by the Minister of Education, Mary Hanafin, the Class of the Century Award, an award bestowed once each one hundred years in recognition of a group young peoples' unparalleled academic potential and achievement.


Inside 50K


Much controversy was raised in March 2008, as rumors of discontent whispered throughout the ranks of the Chosen Ones. Following publication of his autobiography, "Inside 50K" (Bloomsbury Printing Press, 2008), an influential member was expelled from the ranks of 50K. Never one to leave quietly, however, Mr. L. (for legal reasons we cannot give the names of any 50K internal researchers) shed further light on comments which were made in his aforementioned autobiography. These included damning remarks about the social networking, plagiarizing and arguments about the ethical implications of the 50Kings Law, e=mc2. In an interview with Jeremy Thompson of Sky News, Mr. L said: "Some people are getting way ahead themselves in there. Ideas are no longer accepted and frankly, I believe that a dictatorship is imminent." Mr. L. has since fled Europe amid death threats made against him by the 50K hierarchy.


The Teachers Behind the Thoughts


The 50Kings were immediately recognised as a once in a life time, solar eclipse-like event. It is, was and will continue to be for this reason that all funds of Portmarnock Community School are channeled directly into educational and research facilities for the 50Kings, as set out in “50Kings, Your Future or Theirs'?”. The following of this pamphlet was of integral importance for the future of mankind and thus, all the finest teachers were exclusively allocated to the 50Kings (Note “50Kings, Your Future or Theirs'?” has since been written into the Irish Government's National Development Plan, “Towards 2016”). These teachers included (for Junior Certificate Cycle). Ms M. Norris for English and Philosophical Studies; Ms G. Kenny for Mathematical and Financial Economics; Ms C. Murray for Economic Theory, Quantitative Economics and Recreational Accounting (extra research undertaken only by select 50Kings); Ms M. O'Kane for Scientific Research, specialising in Physical and Chemical exploration; Ms M. Meade for Scientific Research, specialising in Biological and Ecological exploration; Mr H. Maynes for Irish Language and ancient ancestral research; Mr D. Higgins for Fine Art Appreciation, Graphical Design and Dramatic Enrichment; Ms A. O'Dea for Domestic Studies and Social Accounting; Ms J. Steede for linguistics (Latin, Japanese, Chinese, French, German; Mr D. Murphy for Advanced Engineering, Mechanisms and Applied Astrophysics; Mr A. Conroy for Structural Design and Abstract Architecture; Mr R. Curran for Socio-Economic and Wealth Division Studies and for Physical Analysis of Rare Geological Occurrences; Ms D. O'Brien for Historical, Classical, Pre-Human Studies.

Each and every staff member named above is required to swear an oath of allegiance to 50K and to the furthering of humanity, as stated in the Charter of 50K, prior to any interaction with the Fantastic Ones. All teachers named on this list are currently under twenty four hour armed security for fear of infiltration by the officially named and internationally despised, 50D.


50K – The Billionaire Years


Following the use of forensic integration and differentiation, 50K calculated, to the minute, the time at which AIB, plc.shares would fall to their lowest. This coupled with extensive economic research by the members of 50K on Team Math allowed for the limping bank to be sold at a price which would seem impossible when placed against the company's share price today. A skilled team of negotiators whittled the selling price down to one tenth of the original shareholders' asking value. Succeeding this directly was the initiation of the Bank Action Plan (BAP). Under BAP, all bank affairs were maintained by Team Business, a group of seven 50Kings with particular expertise in banking and corporate investment. The seven positions filled were Global Manager, Global Auditor, Global Marketing Manager, Global Marketing Assistant Manager, European Sales Director, North American Sales Director, Asian Sales Director.


50Kings – The Republic


Few can predict just how far 50K will progress. There has been numerous reports of the establishment of 50Kings' Senate with only officially elected members standing for election. Within the recent past, US Senator, Barack Obama, has pledged his support to the creation of the 50Kings' Republic. It is guessed that the republic will unite the world in peace, unity and splendor but no one person (not even an official 50King) can guarantee this. In article on 27 August 2008, Judith Miller of the New York Times wrote: “Never in all my life as an esteemed political journalist have I seen such support for any political movement. It is especially inspiring to witness the uncreased sheet of unity being spread across the comfortable and soft bed of life.” This beautiful sentiment has been echoed around the world and it is thought that such a global community could be initiated by the year 6 A5K (Ano 50Kings) or 2010 AD.


50Kings - Resentment to Respect


Following months of ambiguous comments about their future, the 50Kings announced the creation of the Chosen One Trust Fund. This trust fund was designed to aid impoverished teenagers, with a prerequisite of 50King standard intellect, from war torn areas the opportunity to attend Harvard University free of charge. More importantly, this scholarship allows for a highly exclusive, honorary 50King membership. Benefits included in this package include the right to use any academic facilities world wide, despite only attending Harvard and also voting rights for the Council of Kings. Past recipients include Albert Einstein (physicist), JK Rowling (author), Sir Isaac Newton (alchemist and physicist) and Nelson Mandela (political activist and lawyer). The announcement of this scholarship was met with jovial acceptance internationally. The 50Kings, never ones to hoard the limelight, have played down their role in the development of this annual award. In a an interview with RTÉ's Paschal Sheehey, a high ranking member of the 50Kings discussed the award's role in the bettering of humanity: "We're all so glad that this award has been successful. When we fist authorised the creation of this prize, few of us, even conspiring to our maximum, could ever have imagined it would be this important to humanity. We thank not ourselves at this time, but rather, the dignified list of recipients who have graced the 50Kings since its initiation. To these heroes and heroins, we offer our sincerest and most gratuitous thanks."

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