5ive

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5ive is the common name of the state formally known as Fiveive (pronounced fiv-eh-iv-eh), a country located in sub-Andean South America. It is renowned for its rich folk musical culture, and the unfortunate tendency of its inhabitants to stutter.

The capital city is San Migueguegueguel, located on the shores of pristine Lake 4ortuna.

History[edit]

Legend has it that Fiveive was founded by five brothers. However, recent archaeological excavations show that one of them later became a cowgirl in Australia. After numerous wars with its much stronger neighbours, Brazil, Argentina, Peru, and the United States, the boundaries of Fiveive were settled when none of these states could persuade the others to accept the territory. In 1888, Juan Bob, a bikini waxer from San Migueguegueguel, declared himself Supreme Poobah Generallissimo of Fiveive. He was subsequently deposed in a bloodless coup, having been strangled with his own sash-of-office.

In 1976 Fiveive celebrated its 135th coup by awarding the lucky coup leader of the day with a new Volkswagen Beetle.

Geography[edit]

Fiveive is 0.8 square kilometres in area, and is surrounded on all sides by the Rio de Janeiro Municipal Dump. Despite being poor in natural resources, the country "struck gold" in 1983 when a Swiss Bank plane was mysteriously shot down over Fiveive while carrying gold bullions.

Just outside the capital is the Fiveive Lllama Sanctuary, the largest of its kind in South America. Lllamas are similar to their cousin Llamas and Lamas, but has three horns (or "3orns" in the local parlance) rather than two, and one, respectively.

Politics[edit]

Since October 2, 2006, the country has been led by current Coup Leader Generallisssissimo An2ni0. Since coming to power, Generallisssissimo An2ni0 has declared that he will break with tradition - instead of executing all members of the previous regime, he will only execute only those who fail to hand over USD 3,000,000 in "coup processing fees".

The Head of State of Fiveive is the Coup Leader. The judiciary is headed by the Top Henchman, who is usually given the honourary titles of Judge, Jury, and Janitor. In order to maintain separation of powers, the title of Executioner is given to the Top Henchman's cousin. The country's legislature is the Genuine People's Democratic Voting Not-A-Rubber-Stamp Parliament Congress Assembly (the GPDVNPCA). As of October, 2006, the GPDVNPCA consists of three geriatric members elected by the Functional Constituencies of the Army, Navy, and Air Force, respectively.

According to its Department of Foreign Affairs and Bananas, Fiveive is recognised by 13 countries around the world, including Oxford University,Togo, Taiwan, L. Ron Hubbard, The Sandwich Islands, and The Simpsons.

Culture[edit]

Apart from Folk Music, Fiveive is renowned for its Pole dancing championships, which occur every spring on the mountain slopes. Since 2005, the Ministry of Truth has pursued a policy of mandatory Call centre training for all school-age children, with the aim of displacing India as the Call centre of the world. However, efforts continue to be thwarted because of the Fiveivians' natural tendency to stutter.

In 2007, Fiveive will host the "Best Global World Expo of Fiveivian Music". A record featuring the voices of the original five (or four) founders of the country will be played at this event.