6teen

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6teen is an animated sitcom that was made in Canada. No, the spelling is not wrong... it is spelled 6teen. When the show was being produced, the show was supposed to be called Six Teens. However if the producers paid the money to animate a logo that was more than five characters long, they wouldn't have enough money to pay for their expensive morning coffee cups. So the show got a lame spelling with a number standing in for a three letter word. The show tells the story of the constant struggle between the Communist and Nazi parties of the mall, along with Ron "the Rent-a-Cop" and John Wayne attempting to stop both parties.

It also involves shoppers who do nothing but wander around aimlessly, as if under some sort of trance.

For a really teeny-weeny toon to watch instead, see Total Drama Island.

Production[edit]

The show began with the Canadian cartoon station known as Teletoon. Teletoon was a T.V. station dedicated to keeping kids glued to the T.V. with never ending cartoons, because it would help get more viewership and therefore allow them to hire so many new employees that the higher ups could just do nothing all day and still get paid. However the station was forced to change its ways when it got a large number of complaints from greedy businesses who were complaining that children were sitting around of their duffs and their businesses were losing power. At first Teletoon just sent them spam messages that said "Go, muck yourselves, douche bags," but then the businesses threatened to sue them on an account of constant spamming and making young children sit and waste their lives in front of the T.V. and not doing anything productive (like work for them). So Teletoon created a single episode of 6teen as a public service announcement/ instructional video to get children out of the house and work for bussinesses as child labor slaves. The show worked like a charm and child labor greatly picked up, mainly at Wal-Marts. However, Teletoon later needed a new show to fill an 8:00 time slot and were too lazy to come up with a new idea. So they just recycled this one, single episode into a full up T.V. series.

The Plot to Expect[edit]

The show's original plot was supposed to be about six Nazi teenagers on a mission to find jobs at the local mall and learn the responsibility of adulthood Wie zum Nutzen unserer Glorious Deutschland und dem Führer!. However this was all wrapped up in the first episode. So to make a series out of a simple episode, the plot of the show involves the six teenagers doing some random shit at the mall.

Characters[edit]

Important Characters[edit]

Jonesey Garcia[edit]

The self entitled "idiot" and one of the "Kommandant" Nazis of the group who group who sounds like a constipated dork (hey he really does). Jonesey is employed at a mall pharmacy... in some episodes. Sometimes he's employed at a sports store, sometimes a toy store, and usually... no where. Jonesey can never stay employed for an entire episode. He has a huge love for women and whenever they come by his latest job, he can never control his hormones and winds up getting fired. None the less, he uses his history of unemployment to wow girls. He is madly in love with Nikki Wong, but still will not give up his womanizing ways for her, but she beats him until he submits to her will.

Caitlin Cooke[edit]

Caitlin attempting to steal some nicer clothes during one of her break downs.

The only person to not be part of the group before the show started (and for good reason). Caitlin thinks she is friends with the others, but in reality they don't like her very much because of her constant giggling and over the top happiness. Caitlin has a lowly job at the mall lemonade stand, which she was forced to take after she discovered that her credit card reached it's climax. The gang desperately tries to get rid of her, but she always finds them and keeps hanging out with them. Caitlin has a huge crush on dahulk, but grew really depressed when he got married. As a result, she constantly tries to find the perfect guy to be her Hasselhoff. She has had tons of boyfriends, but they never last beyond a single episode since they don't fit her incredibly long list of expectations. Also, the boyfriends don't like the fact that she cannot deepthroat. Her constant loss of boys actually has driven her a little... MAD.

She is part of the mall's Hitler Youth group along with the other main characters, and is one of the "Kommandants" of the group, as she helped found it.

Jude Lizowski[edit]

The pot-smoking, cocaine-huffing, LSD-using boy of the group and the only boy to not get fired from his job more than once. Jude has always loved to skate, however he hasn't always made the best decisions in his life. He foolishly attempted to skate up on the down escalator and suffered a major crash to the head. The crash really screwed up his brain and he now thinks he's the long lost son of Tony Hawk. Now he talks like a skater and calls everyone "dude" (even his boss). While he is good friends with the other teens, he annoys the living hell out of everyone in the mall. He's actually been shot a few times, but due to having so many bullets in his chest, his body is now a shield that deflects bullet shots. Jude spends most of his free time skating around the mall and causing everyone in his path to trip and drop everything (causing mass chaos). Eventually the mall security filed a restraining order and he was forever banned from the mall. He later grew up, changed his name, dyed his hair and became the host of an animated reality show.

He tends to not be avidly Nazi, though he is in the Hitler Youth group.

Jen Masterson[edit]

The so called "voice of reason" of the group. Jen is employed at Famous Foot Locker and is a hard worker who wants to break a sales record. She is known for giving long, eight hour speeches about why hard work and good education is important and flashing her boobs by "accident." As a result, the rest of the group dumps Caitlin on her and she gets stuck going with Caitlin on her shopping trips (which usually result in Caitlin hooking up with a random prick, breaking up with him and then forcing Jen to comfort the sobbing Caitlin). She is constantly bullied by her boss at Famous Foot Locker because she is the hardest working employee at the store and and always criticizes him when ever he is sleeping on the job... which is often.

Wyatt Williams[edit]

He's a nigger,an ugly stupid ugly stupid ugly stupid ugly stupid ugly stupid NIGGER, so he's not a Nazi.

...OK well he could be. He is a coffee addict, and a gay fag.

Nikki Wong[edit]

The Chinky, gothic, wrist-slitting member of the group who just can't find true happiness. As a girl, Nikki was a rebellious kid who loved to live a wild life, getting her hair dyed and her face pierced, and just have fun. However, her karma came rushing back to her the moment she turned sixteen. Nikki currently works as the folding lady at the mall's clothes store, where she is haunted by her three co-workers known as the Clones. Every single day she works, she listens to their high pitched voices rambling on and on about how beautiful they look. She's nearly shot herself (twice) with the gun behind the counter, but usually finds it empty since the Clones don't like violence (which causes her to become even more miserable). Nikki tries hard to get some sort of date in order to help her cope with her problems, but never seems to get one due to Jonesey jumping in and screwing everything up. Eventually, she accepts her miserable life and just decides to hook up with Jonesey, until she can maybe find someone better.

She is actually Eva Hitler, Adolf Hitler's wife. After being re-incarnated post-WWII, she lived on to create the mall's Hitler Youth group with the alleged Star Wars fan "Darth", who is Adolf Hitler re-incarnated.

Starr[edit]

Yeah, this get up doesn't work well when you're on a show for kids.

Jude's former girlfriend who sounds like she has helium in her lungs. She likes to skate, read poetry and listen to Linkin Park songs while she works at a local barbecue (she's actually burned the shack down a few times after failing to hear the timers go off). The food she cooks usually gets burned or molded together into one sick looking meal, Starr usually gives it to her friends claiming that it's her own created dish (they usually puke it all out in a matter of minutes). Starr really wants to be more of a focused character, but the show is called 6teen and not 7teen. She later went goth in an attempt to get more attention, but wound up getting banned from the show when she scared off all the kids watching the show.


Her real name is Comrade Red Starr (Red referring to the "Reds", or Communists). She remains a sworn enemy of the Hitler Youth mall group and Ron "the Rent-a-Cop", and continually plots their downfall.

Less Important Characters Who Keep Showing Up Even though everyone hates them because their bad comic relief[edit]

Ron the Rent a Cop[edit]

A portrait of Ron from the day he blew up the mall.

A retired soldier who never learned that the Cold War and World War 2 ended. He thinks that the six teenagers are spies for the Soviet Union and for the Third Reich (especially Caitlin). He constantly stalks the teens to uncover whatever information he thinks they have. He is armed with cameras, night vision googles, slow moving scooter that he claims is his "tank", and a laser-sighted USMC-class M4 Carbine. He has been fired from his job twice, once for strip searching Caitlin in public when he thought she was a suicide bomber and again for activating some planted bombs in the mall when he suspected the teens were about initiate the so called "Plan Smoothie" (not knowing what a smoothie actually was). However he has always managed to get back on the security force by holding the mall owner's wife ransom and making strong demands.

Darth[edit]

An employee at the local computer hardware store who lives by the popular religion known as Star Wars. He owns seven copies of every Star Wars movie: the VHS, the DVD, the DVD Special edition, the DVD special edition with more bonus material, the DVD bootlegger, the Blu-Ray version, and the DVD special edition with the alternate cover art. His personal favorite movie is the Star Wars Holiday Special, and even carries a copy around with him at all times. He attends every convention in every country (in costume) and has been known to raid George Lucas's drawers for his underwear, so that his room is filled with Lucus's scent. He gets major discounts on hardware in the store, which he uses to get the parts necessary to build actual working lightsabors and other crazy junk. In his free time, he either tries to unlock the secret to using the force in his room or work on the AT-AT Walker he is building in his back yard. He is also the pastor of his own Star Wars Church every Tuesday night.

He is Adolf Hitler re-incarnated, and, with Nikki, he formed the Hitler Youth group of the mall. He remains the only member ranked "Der Führer".

Tricia[edit]

Caitlin's friend turned bitch. Tricia comes from a long line of snooty people who make fun of the poor and vote Republican. She was once Caitlin's (only) friend who was just as spoiled as she was. Tricia and Caitlin grew up together, graduated from Spoiliton Middle School together and even dated together.... with guys of course. Then after Caitlin got a job, she started to hate her for some reason. Tricia now spends all her time trying to come up with ways to fuck up Caitlin's life (not knowing her life was already fucked up the moment she got the job at the lemonade stand).

Wayne[edit]

Wayne got a little nasty with Santa one year when the jolly man tried make him into a new man.

The so called "Guinea Pig Man" and owner of some video store that doesn't get very many customers. Wayne is exactly the kind of boss to expect in a job: lazy, overweight and willing to give all the work over to his employees/ slaves. He spends each and every day eating nachos and watching the porn videos behind the counter. While some customers do come in, he never lets them check anything out since he believes only worthy ones can view his movies (and by worthy, he means lazy and fat like him). Jude, Wyatt and Jonesey take up jobs in his store after Ron successfully destroyed their last working places when he thought they were sending information to their secret bases overseas (when they were really just texting their friends on their cell phones). However Jonesey got fired instantly (as expected) and Wyatt spilled coffee on a video and was kicked out, leaving Jude to fend for himself and at Wayne's mercy (and he has practically none).


Wayne is actually John Wayne re-incarnated. He continually plots to cause the downfall of the Communist Mall Party and the Hitler Youth Mall Group, groups whom he considers "Good for nothin' yellow-bellied cowards."

Less Important Characters Who Do All of Nothing Useful who tried for comic relief but then had to impersonate Micheal Jackson[edit]

The Shoppers[edit]

Seriously... they do nothing but shop... shop... shop... and shop more. It's really boooooooorrrrrring.

The Clones[edit]

The annoying, giggling trio of blonde girls who Nikki has to work with. They are well known for laughing like air heads and having major breakdowns whenever they feel their fashion is off, which makes life really depressing for Nikki all the times.

Courtney Masterson[edit]

Jen's older and hotter sister, who came back home from university, after she flunked out. Guys adore her looks and girls love to listen to her boyfriend's adventures, so Jen feels abandoned by the rest of the gang when Courtney steps into the Mall in the episode "Its always Courtney, Courtney, Courtney!". She has a good reason to feel like that – Courtney is a famous friend – and boyfriend – stealer. Courtney's also quick to put down Jen and belittle her. Despite their differences, they actually do still love each other (as shown in "The Wedding Destroyers," and for a brief time in "Opposites Attack"). Courtney is supposedly 19 years old.

“ Now that everyone knows that you have boobs of your own, that shouldn't be a problem. ” — Courtney

Emma Garcia-Masterson[edit]

Jen's baby sister. In the episode "Whoa, Baby!", Jen finds out her mom is pregnant. She is afraid that she'll have another brother, but her anxiety was put to rest when her mother learns after the ultrasound that she is going to give birth to a baby girl (thus creating an even playing field). She first appears in "Labour Day Part 2", when Emma Masterson-Garcia finally gives birth to her. She has a role in "6 Teens and a Baby", where each of the gang takes care of baby Emma while Jen's mom and Jonesy's dad are on their honeymoon

Reception[edit]

Because the show has pushed kids to work at rich businesses as child labor slaves, the show has been well received by businesses and parents. Many parents compliment the show for "getting their kids off their back." The musical score has also received some praise by those who do not understand the rest of the show. In 2005, the show was given an award for "Most Inspiring Show for Underage Workers." The show also received "The Perfect Episode" award in 2006 for the episode Boom Goes the Mall, praising the effects used when Ron the Rent a Cop blew up the mall. The show still has much high praise, and while its praise is still he, the show is now being made into a live action movie, so that it can start working it's magic on the older audiences.