AC/DC
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“Show me a song these guys wrote that does not deal with beer, sex, or partying, and I'll show you a cock-sucker from Guatemala.”
~ Oscar Wilde on AC/DC's lyrical choice
“That little fucker stole my dance move!”
~ Chuck Berry on Angus Young's duck walk.
“hell, even i know AC/DC does not need a bass player”
~ Cliff Williams on AC/DC
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| Years Active | 1973 B.C. to 4053 |
| Genre(s) | Cock stompin' rock n roll |
| Label(s) | Atlantic Records - 1973 - present |
| Members | Brian Johnson (drunken Geordie lout, brother of Elmo) Angus Young (escaped from Cherrynole home for the mentally challenged) Malcolm Young (The one whose bulge is always petruding from his nutsack) Cliff Williams (inaudible) Phil Rudd (closet homosexual) George Young (absent) Abhinandan Nandi (What crystal meth lab?) |
| Former Members | Dave Evans (never mind) Bon Scott (HE'S DEAD) Engelbert Humperdinck (Tenor Sax) |
AC/DC are a rock band from Hell (a short drive down the highway from Sydney) formed in 1973. They were influenced by Chuck Berry's classic technique of writing the same song 40,000 times. They are notable for being Australia's second highest-earning entertainers, behind The Wiggles, and also for the fact that they have been wearing the same clothes for close to 40 years, as part of a world record-breaking attempt to break the world-record for having no sense of vogue. Also they rock more than you ever will, which of course as we all know is true.
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[edit] Bon Scott Era
Bon Scott, who was at the time apparently sober enough to stand up and presumably attend an audition of some kind, replaced AC/DC's original vocalist, the Gary Glitter-esque Dave Evans, notable for his voice that sounds like a dying gerbil on crack with a goat's horn up his ass, who slowly kicked himself to death over the decades ensuing their phenomenal success. Bon attributed his vocal pitch to swallowing a helium-filled weasel who had snuck into his bottle of Jack Daniels one night in 1971. To promote Scott joining the band, Angus and Malcolm came up with a publicity stunt: see how much Scott could drink in one sitting. As it turned out, Scott drank so much that he pissed non-stop for 40 days and 40 nights. Everyone in the world died from the resulting piss flood, except a boat builder named Noah who was spared because he liked AC/DC's music.
Scott swaggered and swayed his way from the band's debut, High Voltage,,through T.N.T,"' then High Voltage again, right up to the band's sixth effort, entitled High Voltage. His lyrical themes generally indulged in social issues that were hotly contested at the time, making loud statements on subjects such as women, highly volatile chemical compounds, making love to women, stabbing people, having huge testicles, and women, just to name a few. In the last remaining years of the Vietnam conflict, with anti-war sentiment at it's peak, Scott became a loud and visible advocate for "waiting for everything to sort itself out on it's own," and was frequently seen grand-standing at peace rallies.
Scott's radical, Bohemian ideologies, in combination with Malcolm's 'minimalist' chordal expressions and Angus' riotous inability to stand-up straight, propelled the name AC/DC from being merely a label on a woman's sewing machine, to become synonymous with Hard Fucking Rock 'N Roll.
..bet you'll never guess what happens next!
[edit] You can leave your hat on
Without wasting any time, the rest of the boys - who never really liked Bon and had been waiting for an excuse to shit-can him anyway - recruited the services of a young, leather-clad call-boy named Brian Johnson, and they instantly fell in love. In an unlikely turn of events, the band, after much determination, were able to convince Johnson to go steady with them. He had one stipulation however - that they'd never make him remove his hat.
Some said of him he was like a young Gene Kelly, while other, snootier critics were reminded of some obscure european prick. What many people don't know is that Johnson invented the car sunroof, and is the biological father of Amy Winehouse, Cassi Van Den Dungen and Lady GaGa.
Bereft of the shackles of their former, brutal stablemaster, like a dove set free from a grizzly pair of cold, unloving hands, the fab five donned their harness of friendship and repelled down to the plateau of serenity beneath them. It was here that their next endeavour would blossom in the form of their 7th album, High Voltage, a dramatic departure from the bone-crunching riffs and cock-stomping lead guitar-picking of old. The band was now laying down bone-crunching riffs and cock-stomping leads in their place. The release would spawn three hit singles for the band: Janna-nanana OI!, Janana-nah nanananah and perhaps most memorably GITZ IT SPITZIN ITZIN ROCK'N'ROLL HAMANANANA.
These hit singles were followed, in 1437AD, by the most notorious incident involving ACCA DACCA, when members of the band savagely beat Hannah Montana in a subway. Led by lead singers Amy Winehouse and Lady GaGa, all band members kicked the crap out of that no-brained Oklahama-boy as she sat dunking twinkies in a strawberry milkshake while skipping through the Moscow Underground, chanting mumblings about Das Fuhrer. Frontman Amy GaGa later explained that they have nothing against the stupid smiley-miley himself, but simply objected to it's personality and demeanour. Miley Montana immediately recognised this, of course, and thanked them for the bone-crunching hip deconstruction before crawling back to the heimland. Acca Dacca are currently seeking to follow up their savage booty stomp with some high voltage electrocution.
[edit] Angus Young and AC/DC Quotes
- I love the music from Nat King Cole, BB King, Albert King... When I think of it, my idol is Mike Tyson so I wouldn't mind being renamed Don King.---Interview for the French TV channel MI6
- If it was happening, I'd call it Good'y Mate. If it wasn't happening, I usually fall on the floor and distract the audience.---When asked if he specifically named his guitar. From Rolling Stone Magazine.
- I don't like to play above or below people's heads. Basically, I play in between.---Interview with NME magazine in October 1976
- "Whey yee kna like pet whey I joined tha band in 1980 like Wha started writin stuff for tha back in black album like, was fuckin class like!" - Brian Johnson, in typical Geordie talking to ITV in 1996 about his experiences when joining AC/DC.
- We want to appeal to Zulu women and get rich quick. I've got this plan to buy Zuluville you see.---Interview with Sounds magazine in June 1976
- "I love rock and roll!"---Joan Jett on AC/DC.---Interview with the Atlanta Gazette.
- "It's only rock and roll, so you like it." The Rolling Stones on Joan Jett on AC/DC
- We're a rock group. We're quiet, polite, humble and spastic.---Bonfire Box Set
- I'm sick to death of people saying we've made 211 albums that sound exactly the same, in fact, we've made 121 albums that sound exactly the same.---Angus Young to Dick's Van Dyke
- "Whattya do for money honey? I'll fuck the shit out of a dog for free!"---Brian Johnson to Madonna
- "For the money, honey!"---Angus replies to reporters question, "Are you crazy?"
- "Well he's back, yes he's back, well he's back on smack, yes he's back on smack!" ---Brian Johnson on Russel Brand's career
- "You mean there are OTHER keys besides E-Major?" ---Angus Young on music theory
- "Alcohol is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." ---Bon Scott on women
- "My fantasy guitar would be a cannon that shot sperm at the audience." ---Angus Young
- "I do dirty deeds done dirt cheap" Bon Scott speaking to John Mark Karr.
[edit] Discography
- 74 Jailbreak (1974)
- 75 Jailbreak (1975)
- 76 Jailbreak (1976)
- 77 Jailbreak (1977)
- 79 Jailbreak (Oh shit, we forgot to make one last year, lads) (1979)
- High Voltage (1973)
- I LOVE ROCK N ROLL (1974)
- Soundtrack to Michael Jackson's Thriller (1975)
- High Voltage 2 (1976)
- Let There Be High Voltage 3 (1977)
- High Voltage (live) (1978)
- Highway to (a Bad Word) (1979)
- Back On Smack (1980)
- For Those About To Buy High Voltage 5 (1981)
- Low Voltage (bootleg) (1982)
- High (1983)
- Voltage (1984)
- High Voltage 4 (1985)
- 666 IS GOOD (1986)
- AC/DC presents... The Songs of Barry Manilow(1987)
- High Voltage 6 (1988)
- High Voltage 7 (live in Berlin) (1990)
- High Voltage (live vol. 2) (1992)
- AC/DC and Pink Floyd(Live In '85) (1995)
- High Voltage to your TV! (VH1 sessions) (1996)
- High Voltage (boxset edition) (1997)
- High Voltage 8 (2000)
- Medium Voltage (2003)
- High Voltage 9 (2008)
- High Voltage 10 (2009) An upcoming "best of" to be released to coincide with the ending of their current world tour of the same name.
- Led Zepplin I (2009)
- 20,000 Volts In My Ballsack (2009)
- Soon To Be - Best Of High Voltage " - eB oT nooS"" 2010 - January
- High Voltage (one more last freaking time) (hopefully) (2011)
- Power... Ah Fuck, Who Are We Kidding, Its Called 'High Voltage'! (2112)
- High Voltage (BBC Sessions) (2113)
- High Voltage (2114) (Are You Sick Of This Yet?)
- High Voltage Unplugged (2115)
- A Selection of Voltages...Mainly High..
