ACT

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ACT is a mythical monster who fights the all powerful hobos who created the famous SAT. While it's origins are uncertain the main theories are frightening accounts of man slaughter and horror, not to mention illiteracy by morons who believe that they can ban people for no reason. Try to read this article, you.

The story[edit]

The place where an ACT stroke the ground

Once upon a time there was a pack of necrophiles. Their main activity was sneaking into graveyards and raping old corpses. A very disgusting job but somebody has to do it.
One night the necros decided to have more fun so they gathered all the corpses in one huge disgusting pile and did their needs all over the disgusting pile of rotting grandmas. At this point God decided this was too much and unleashed the four horse riders of apocalypse unto the wretched world under His feet.
The four riders decided to hunt down the necros and kill them all for the affront they brought upon God. However the necros hid in the cave of some good friends of theirs, the hobos that created the SAT-test. Confused by the wretched smells from the cave (which actually emanated from people who ban for no reason, and was blamed by the Four Horsemen on the innocents) the four riders of apocalypse decided to unite their forces into one single creature that could hunt down the necros. They combined their special forces to form the ACT-monster who contains six different parts:

  • Math so it can calculate your chances of escape and kill you.
  • Reading so it can read you mind and kill you.
  • Science so it can know more ways to kill you.
  • Writing so it can write down how it killed you.
  • Deleting so it can delete how it killed you.
  • Banned so it can ban how it killed you.

Not knowing what is purpose was in this world the ACT monster ran loose and started killing kids stupid enough to enter his lair, you.

Many other people believe that actually the whole ACT is just another test created by another team of hobos (who are so illiterate they can't spell "ban") trying to steal some money from the SAT creators, as they are all known deleters and thieves. Of course they are all just mad, you!!!! I am right...ha ha ha The necros will come again...ha ha ha

The test[edit]

So what actually is the ACT test? We have all heard about it but has somebody actually taken it?
Here are the shocking accounts of the one's that took it...And lived!!!

Names, dates, places and quotes will be changed to protect the innoccent.

Benny(it's not Dennys from Alabama, stop asking) from Balabama, on the 31 of May 356096491731
" Yup..so I wuz taking thiz test here..when the whule roof just went bamm...It wuz one of them tornadoes...guess I'll just take it again or something."
So you didn't acutally took the test?
"Nope...the tornadoe came bamm too fast. Read only the first question."
So what was it?
"Ahh...oh yup I remember...no, that was something else..sorry."
Thank you Denn..i mean Benny from Balabama.

Shocking truth!!


...but wait there is more! The president on the ACT:
"That damn test...I be tellin' ya...damn test!"
What was your score Mr. President?
"Damn test! I be tellin' ya... we were not prepared, It stroke us too hard too fast we were still drunk from last Sunday... damn test!"
I see...Any comments on the difficulty of the test?
"Damned test!...Damned test!"
Thank you Mr. President.

But there's lots more!

Manny Manned from Banned Street, Baltimore said this about his ACT Test:

"Waal, when I was a-takin' that there ACT test, there was this here little filly who snuck the durn answers in with my ol' ACT test booklet, she did. I caught her, though!"

"Why, what did you do, Manny? Did ya delete her, did ya?"

"Nope, did better than that, I did! I banned her! Yup, not only her, but the whole rest of them yahoos, I sure enuff did! You ain't a-gonna be findin' them yeggs aroun' here any more! Did that, I sure did! Hey, you don't have any chew on ya, do ya? I got a hankerin' for some good chew right now. Go get some, boy, go on now, afor' ya git me riled."

Thanks a lot, you!


ACT form[edit]

Before one can take the ACT one must prove himself too stupid to take the SAT. In order to prove that one must complete this form.

    Name......................Prefix........Suffix..........
    Married: O yes   O no   O cannot remember   O only to God
    Is English your primary language: O no O I come from Alabama O was sagen sie?
    Have you taken this test before? O yes O this is a test? O fuck 
    Are you part of any inferior races, weak gender, religious minorities or other
    disabled groups? O Redneck O woman(what are you doing out of the kitchen) O Monkeys
        
    Please answer the following MC questions.
    1+1= a)Mt Rushmory
         b)FUCK YOU COMMUNIST PIG!!
         c)ablagdaty16319a  
         d)red 
   
   Is Stalin dead a) Yes
                  b) yes
                  c) yEs
                  d) YeS
   Do you plan to cheat on this test: a) maybe
                                      b) I am not a crook
                                      c) Look behind you a monkey 'run away'
                                      d) this is a test?


Here is a sample taken from a test by a guy who was killed and brutally tortured for this desecration.

--English Q: Identify the mistakes

  1.Are you a homo? a) Yes
                    b) No
                    c) You are
                    d) You're a girl
                    e) Gun!
  2.[[Ich]] don't know.  a) the first word
                                   b) the second word
                                   c) the third word
                                   d) the small wiggly sign in between the second word and "t"
                                   e) It is against my religion to answer this question
 3. Yo, like, bro' how the ho' ?   
                   a) the subject "ho'" isn't in coordination with the verb "Yo,"
                   b) the bro is white
                   c) Yo should be yo
                   d) 2PAC IS ALIVE!!!
                   e) This question insults my speech impediments, ho' so I will file a lawsuit against ACT.org, bro'
 4. The cat was actually a dog pretending to be an undercover FBI agent so it could steal the apples.
                   a) 'ctrl+c...ctrl+v' the subject "ho'" isn't in coordination with the verb "Yo,"
                   b) The cat is actually a hamster in cahucks with the russians
                   c) This information is calssified how did you find it out!!! 'shoot everybody'
                   d) Mt. rushmory
                   e) the error is in answer no. d because Mt. rushmory should be written with a capital H.