AFAIK

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AFAIK is commonly taken to mean Accept Fellatio; And I Kneel, a network protocol used to practice fellatio on a complete stranger. In concordance with The Law of Fives, this process requires 8 steps:

  1. The handshake
  2. The generation of a key pear
  3. The request for the other person's photograph
  4. The transmission of a live goat
  5. The establishment of a secure connection on port mouth
  6. The transmission of the code sequence "AFAIK"
  7. The transmission by the remote server of the code sequence "AFAIK 200 OK"
  8. The exchange of semen and/or vaginal juices

AFAIK can also refer to the command line tool of the same name that is used for setting up or connecting to a fellatio server. This utility was part of Unix since its addition to System I by Alexander the Great, and it has gotten much use, especially from porn sites. It was to be a core component of Windows Vista, but due to security issues, the interface was castrated. Blowjob lovers who run Windows will have to use a third-party dildo driver instead.

Etymology of AFAIK[edit]

AFAIK was originally used by Isaac Newton upon his discovery of buttsecks. After being hit on the head by an apple, he cried out "AFAIK!," an acronym for his sudden realization that Ass Fucking Always Is Kinky! In celebration of kinkiness, he then proceeded to run through the streets shouting AFAIK, believing he was proclaiming buttsecks. Fortunately, everyone thought he was really talking about fellatio, and so AFAIK took on its present meaning.

Albert Einstein built on Newton's work at MIT in his work with Isaac's distant relative, Albert Newton. Much of his work was confiscated by the CIA, LSD, and other three-letter acronyms; however, many speculate that the famous equation was somehow derived from AFAIK=BUTTSECKS, the equation first pondered by Isaac Newton. Alert readers will notice the similarity of this original equation to a line of QBasic in the Windows source code, which is rumored to be the reason for why Windows sucks, both figuratively and literally. This oddity was originally discovered by Oscar Wilde, but many internet users who use AFAIK claim to be the original discoverer.