ALSH

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

Jump to: navigation, search


      Whoops! Maybe you were looking for rocks?
      Whoops! Maybe you were looking for Smite?
      Whoops! Maybe you were looking for your mom?
No Wikipedia.png
Those obsessed with so-called experts should thank their lucky stars that Wikipedia does not have an article about ALSH.


ALSH (born ALSH MONDO to ZANDER and WAND) was born in ALSHANIA an later proceeded to create the very land he was born. and was later crowned norse god of smiting and peace and he also enjoys lattes. mmmm lattes and his beloved lattes are alsho his life force,if he does not have at least one each day,he will release his rath of grues to destroy all of mankind...and then start the war between lasers and asplosions all over again...

Contents

[edit] How many times the word SMITE is used in this article.

CounterZero.gifCounterZero.gifCounterZero.gifCounter5.gifCounter4.gifCounter3.gifCounter2.gif

the word smite is not really used this many times but it is pretty dang close!

[edit] Quotes from ALSH

Noone wanted to say anything for fear of being eaten by ALSH's grue...

Except Oscar Wilde...

That grue is a menace to society!!!

~ Oscar Wilde on ALSH


HOW DARETH THEE INTRUDE ON MY QUOTES COLUMN! GRUE! LUNCHTIME!

~ ALSH on Oscar Wilde

I SPARKLE!

~ Oscar Wilde

Man I just love to be smited!

~ You on ALSH

[edit] How he came to us.

ALSH was ruling in ALSHANIA when a great magical RED LINK came and destroyed his palace sweeping him away to dwell in the mortal world of llamas for all of eternity. Where he was imprisoned in drainage ditches and microscopic magical mushrooms. Which is where he would reside until the chosen ones would come to rescue him and give him his "life elixir" (the latte) to keep him alive till they could get a grue(to protect him that is). Once they had acquired the grue they wanted to test it out(and as we all know the grue is the only thing [besides llamas] that Mr.T and Chuck Norris cannot kill).

So,we took ALSH and threw him at the two and the grue,awakened from his immortal sleep jumped out and ate both of them then forced them to put him back under ALSH. Where it was forevermore worshipped as a rock (the grue also). Yes, i said a rock and grue. For he is a rock and also quite grueish. BUT he is a special rock(the grue isn't special at all,poor grue)who is very telepathic and his favorite form of smiting is to send wrath upon unsuspecting villagers also known as smitees. Also,since he is a rock and all he hired a grue to hide under him eating all who are not chosen, and after he eats someone he makes them put him back under ALSH,or else he will lock you an abandoned biker bar...full of stoners.

[edit] Are you chosen?


Are you chosen? (0 vote)
Yes  
No  
Message (ENTER to confirm)

[edit] How do you get smited?

Never say ALSH in a mirror repeatedly if you do it more than 999 times, you will get smited. And you, <insert name here>, are smited.

[edit] see also


[edit] How do you tell if youve ben "chosen"?

well.. alsh uses his two original chosens (Dillon and Jason) to smite those who claim to be chosen. and are not.there is only one way to tell if youve been chosen. you must survive a grue attack. BUT thats not ALL you MUST find him... save him... and be chosen

323777 Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)

Personal tools
on Uncyclopedia