AMSWWBUW

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Overview[edit]

Not much is known about the Association of Mad Scientists Who Want to Blow Up the World. They made their first appearance ages ago in a Usenet group called alt.cesium that was hijacked by a bunch of people to discuss completely unrelated things (see also Guestbook Piracy). The AMSWWBUW apparently has something to do with monkeys, Plutonium and other cool stuff like Cesium but details are in the dark. The European branch of this highly secretive organisation is known under the acronym EMSWWBUW.

Responsibilities[edit]

As a professional body the AMSWWBUW is responsible for the ISO 9000 certification of weapons of mass destruction.

Timeline / History[edit]

  • 1992 Reform of the AMSWWBUW election rules. The rules come severely into action in November 1994
  • April 1993 First appearance of the AMSWWBUW in the signature of a contribution to the Usenet group alt.cesium.
  • December 1994 The big AMSWWBUW election.
  • 1995-1996 The AMSWWBUW starts to swap over into other Usenet groups, for instance sci.psychology.misc, alt.games.mornington.cresent, or rec.arts.comics.misc
  • 1997-2001 Silence
  • 2002 Sudden and unexpected reappearance of the AMSWWBUW in alt.cesium. The desperate try to get the cesium issue in the centre of the spotlight however was doomed to be unsuccessful.
  • 2003-now regular reappearance of the AMSWWBUW as part of the alt.cesium FAQ presumably posted by a finite number of monkeys.
  • 2007-8 Construction of the Large Hadron Collider, which is supported by numerous AMSWWBUW members.

Election Results[edit]

Results of the December 1994 election: Total ballots cast: 26,036; Absentee ballots cast: 134; Voided ballots: 36.

The following positions have been filled:

  • Supreme Head Honcho of Anti-Planetary Activities
  • General Commander-in-Chief
  • Lord of the Primates, Nevada Division
  • Assistant Secretary of Transportation Coordination, Nevada Division
  • Protector Of The Alkali Metals And Crusher Of Francium
  • Ambassador to Noble Gases
  • Chief Assistant to the Assistant Chief Mineralogist
  • Valence Minister
  • Ambassador to the Halogens
  • Minister Plenipotentiary to the Commonwealth of Elements with Electrons in Fractional Quantum States
  • Ambassador to Strontium
  • Secretary of Cesium Finance
  • Ambassador to Acapulco
  • Official Cesium Water-Boy
  • Chair of the Directorate of Euphemism
  • Cesium Foreign Relations Committee Chairman
  • Guy to be Beaten with a Lead Pipe and Given a Nice CsOH Gargle
  • Deputy Secretary in Charge of THE LIST!
  • Neutron Lout
  • Assistant Director of Northern Midwest Operations
  • Chief of College Recruitment
  • Director of Blithering
  • Lord of Bovines

Registration Form[edit]

Instructions: In order to join your local chapter, print out a hard copy of the form below, and fill it out. Take this form to the capitol building of your local government (state capitol building for U.S. residents, national capitol for AMSWWBUW International). Walk 1 mile due south of said building. You will notice a dumpster within visual range of this point. Tape the application to this dumpster. It will be picked up by our agents and processed. You will receive no form of identification (for security reasons), but your name will be entered into our database. You are then eligible to attend our annual conference (more details later). If you complete this process, but still doubt that your application was processed successfully, send a message to our dummy account at [email protected] (Name deleted for legal reasons).

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AMSWWBUW REGISTRATION FORM FOR INCOMING MEMBERS

Name _____________________________________________________________________

Aliases used _____________________________________________________________

Current mailing address ___________________________

Home address __ deg __' __" (N/S) ___ deg __' __" (W/E)

Phone number (H) ________________ (W) ________________

Field of research _______________________

Favorite radioactive isotope ________

Have you had made contact with any alien species? (Y/N)

If so, what technology are they willing to give us? _____________________

Organizations and/or individuals that you wish to pursue revenge against:

__________________________________________

__________________________________________

__________________________________________

__________________________________________

__________________________________________

Personal catch-phrase _____________________________________________________

What do you feel you can contribute to AMSWWBUW?

If given a chance, what method would you use to blow up the world?

__________________________________________

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External links[edit]