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A Norwegian whaling crew on one of the earlier Arpanet missions. Moby Dick to the lower left.

“ARRR! ... PANET.”

~ Captain Ahab on ARPANET

The ARPANET is a large phishing net primarily used in the whaling industry. It was invented by Norwegian celebrity whale killer Steinar Bastesen in 1898, largely motivated by the whaling depression of the late 19th century, when it became common for harpoon throwers to abandon whaling for a more glamorous career in javelin throwing.

Early Use[edit]

The first Arpanet was deployed in May 1899 on trawler Ormen Lange, and was made from the braided hide of baby seals. The first few missions yielded an impressively large volume of game, including Moby Dick, Free Willy, and Nessie, and proved the Arpanet a worthy successor of the fading harpoon.

ARPANET spin-offs[edit]

The success of the early Arpanets was rapidly picked up by the phishing industry as a whole, and soon led to the development of the highly durable copper wire nets we see today. Among the more common modern variants are the fine-masked Internet, which is mostly used for pron trawling, and the Ethernet, which is used for nearly all kinds of game.

See Also[edit]

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about ARPANET.