A jar of mayonnaise
A jar of mayonnaise is the currency of Kraftistan. One a jar of mayonnaise (note that the word a is part of the currency's name, and so you don't remove it unless you enjoy pissing off Grammar Nazis.) is equivalent to sixty-four tablespoons. If you remove the mayonnaise from the jar, then the a jar of mayonnaise devalues until you only have the jar, which is worthless but is frequently done by elephant catchers who need the proper equipment.
The a jar of mayonnaise is worth approximately:
- .2542 Foil charizards (US and Japan)
- 12.342 Bottle caps (Great Britain)
- 7.6421x10^13 Marks (1930 Germany)
- 8.213 Illegal immigrants (Mexico)
- 2.678 Cigarettes (prison)
- "Over 9000 US Dollars!!" (USA)
- The whole country (Ethiopia)
Origins of Mayonnaise
Mayonnaise is rumoured to have been invented by Fanny Cradock, in her youth, during her brief and highly unsuccessful egg juggling career. Immediately the UK Government saw the implications of such a versatile substance and enlisted Craddock to engineer the mind controlling mayonnaise we see in our shops today. Named after the popular Radio One DJ Simon Mayo, the substance never really became popular until "Mayo's law" was passed in 2035 under which all sandwich shops must include the ingredient in every single sandwich, wrap, roll and sub or be clubbed to death by a baguette.
The origins of a Jar of mayonnaise
The idea to put mayonnaise in a jar was conceived sometime in the 1600s, when a glassmaker was fooling around. The glass maker thought that it would be a badass idea to put something in a jar made of glass. He thought of all of the possible objects, liquids, and gasses, and discovered, "hey, mayo works pretty well in a jar! And it's kinda annoying when I have to get it in a small packet, and I never get enough mayo from it, so I always have to get another packet of mayo..." so, he created a glass jar in which he could keep his mayo, so that he may apply however much mayo he wanted to his sandwich at any given time, rather than having to go back to the fast food monger for more packets when he is out. Soon, people began to realize its value, and hence, it became a currency.
That is, until the mayonaise was removed completely from the jar. When that was done, the economy of certain countries collapsed, as the mayo had been consumed.