Aalesund
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“What a smelly town..”
~ Oscar Wilde on Aalesund
“huh? Who? Riise, is that some kind of cheese?”
~ Oscar Wilde on Riise
“I'm outta here!”
~ John Arne Riise on Aalesund
“Ah! Helga! Geben mir das kartoffelgehausschwitchenbor!”
~ Adolf Hitler on Aalesund
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[edit] The early years
Aalesund was originaly a wooden city, until Varg Vikernes(Count Grishnack) in a mission to make Norway more pagan'ish, tried to burn the Borgund Church down in 1904 and burned the whole city as well. The city had no houses left so the emperor of germany, Adolf Hitler sponsored the city with blankets. The City was up-and-go again a few years later with a new outlook called Jugend style. (See Hitler Jugend) Hitler even got his own street, named Emperor Hitler street (Keiser Hitlersgate). Hitler became jealous of how pretty the city became, so he tried to bomb it down again.
A new group of wanna-be arcitects are trying to change the look of the city. They want to paint the houses black, and demolish several building in order to construct highways. They are known as turbo jugend.
[edit] The pride of Aalesund
Aalesund is altso famous for the redhead midget called John Arne Riise, who claims he can play football. John Arne Riise is mainly known for sending SMS pictures sporting his midget dick to several models. He is now playing on a so-called football team called Liverpool (Lever Basseng). You can find the famous statue of John Arne Riise, placed in a park called Frognerparken in Oslo. The statue is called "sinnataggen".
[edit] Education
The largest educational center in Ålesund is the Ålesund Nazi University College, where nazi war weteran survivors from world war two roam freely and spread their hate amongst the 1-2000 people in their domain. If you look at the building from the air, you can clearly see that the architect is one of Norways leading nazi designers, incorporating the swastika into the building layout wherever he had the chance.
[edit] Aalesund Today
Aalesund today, is a town where conserts and other social gathering is forbidden. This, because of the Jante Law concept. The entertainment industry consists mainly of 5-6 polish immigrants playing music at nighttime, hoping that excessively drunk people will hand over their money. One of the biggest attractions of Aalesund is a big container of water, with some fish in it. What people in Aalesund do for fun is fighting with bouncers while being drunk. This they do at least five times a week.
