Acceptance of bed wetting

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otherwise known as "swamping". Essentially becoming so ridiculously shitfaced on cheap Tennants lager purchased from the NAAFI at dangerously low prices that you urinate in your sleep, leading to much hilarity. Defecation may also occur and, whilst in most circles the offending individual would be derided for being someone with the sphincter muscles of Michael Barrymore's pool cleaner, this would be seen as even more hilarious in British Army circles. It would be particularly amusing if this was to happen in the bed of a young lady, postcoitus. But only if she was fat. And you rubbed her hair in it.

Far from being a pointless piece of trivia, swamping should be treated with the highest of respect, given its importance in British Army tradition. Just ask anyone who opted to take their R&R in Kuwait city and stole all that Carlsberg Export from the British Embassy bar and then proceeded to become intoxicated beyond the point that would be naturally acceptable, resulting in them confusing their oppo for the toilet and urinating on their face as they slept. Aparently.