Accidentally (band)

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search
Accidentally
Years Active: 1987 - Present
Genre Metal, Pop Punk, Emocore, Hard Rock, Glam Metal, Technical Death Metal, Rap, Hip Hop
Origin Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Label On Purpose Records
Associated Acts Andrew's Gay, Freudian Slip, Camping With Bears, Meatloaf for Breakfast
Current Members David Allen, Andrew Campeau, Andrés MacLeod, Darren Usher
Past Members Jesus Chirst, Shakespeare, Muhammed Ali, Peter Roumeliotis, Chewbacca, Duane


Accidentally is a Montreal based Metal, Pop Punk, Emocore, Hard Rock, Glam Metal, Technical Death Metal, Rap and Hip Hop band formed in 1987 when founding member Duane started a solo project based on his own trumpet and electric violin stylings. The band has since evolved (without Duane) to become a worldwide sensation.

Early Years[edit]

Duane, a god-like man of unknown origin, began playing the electric violin at the age of 4. He was immediately recognized as one of the foremost electric violin players in his area, and was awarded a scholarship to music school. However, he declined the scholarship in favor of starting his own solo band in which he would play his instrument as well as the trumpet, which he had mastered some years before. Naming his band ""The Broken Pencils"", he began touring to some acclaim around his hometown. Duane eventually realized that he could not hold an audience for the entire duration of his 3 hour sets, so he recruited bassist Andrew Campeau to fill in on the kazoo (although Campeau secretly played bass in concert). The new member began to subtly subvert the band from the inside, which included secretly hiring keyboardist Andrés MacLeod to play the trumpet and violin parts on a synthesizer, after which point Duane's amp was muted at every live performance. Soon after, David Allen was hired to play the triangle during a single bar in one song, but Allen, dissatisfied with the amount of stage time he received, caused Duane to spontaneously combust using his mind powers. Allen took over on electric violin, but soon switched to rhythm guitar. The final member to join was Darren Usher on drums, who was hired when MacLeod became unable to beatbox the drum parts because of a mouth injury. This lineup has remained constant and is what the fans know and love today.

Rise to Fame[edit]

With the "accidental" death of Duane, bassist Andrew Campeau took over management of The Broken Pencils. His first act was to revamp the band's image, which included renaming it Accidentally in honor of Duane's cause of death. His second was to write all kinds of awesome new music for the band to perform. Unfortunately, this music was lost when David Allen tried to "accidentally" set fire to Campeau, in a manner similar to Duane, as an attempt at taking over management himself. The attempt failed, but the awesome new songs were destroyed. In a desperate effort to write new songs fast, the band used a list of possible titles that Andrés MacLeod had come up with the night before while stoned out of his mind as a starting point and improvised new songs based on them at their gig that night. They were booed off stage, however, because, in all the confusion, the band had forgotten to hire a lead guitarist.

In response to this, Darren Usher called in a favor from his old friend Jesus Christ, who agreed to come and play for the band as long as nobody crucified him. They played their first show with Jesus, during which he shredded a guitar solo so brütal it caused the entire audience to rise up as one and crucify him as he played. Jesus quit the band immediately in disgust. Fortunately, William Shakespeare showed up and closed the show with the band.

Because of Shakespeare's star power, Accidentally was offered a recording contract by On Purpose Records, which they accepted within 4 seconds of receiving it. They entered the studio at noon on December 14, 1990 and exited it at 1:24 PM, having recorded the entire album in one take because they're just that awesome. The album, aptly titled Accidentally, was released later that day to resounding critical and commercial acclaim. Unfortunately, Shakespeare's drug abuse and flamboyant homosexualism became too much for the band to handle, and so they fired him in late 1991. After a long audition process, they hired Muhammed Ali to take over lead guitar and began their now-infamous Throw All Your Cash On Stage 1992 World Tour.

Superstardom[edit]

The band toured almost non-stop between 1992 and 2003, performing seven days a week, 52 weeks a year, and sometimes three or four shows in one day. The constant touring only stopped twice: the first occasion was when Darren Usher realized that he couldn't play drums. He immediately quit the band, after which they suspended the tour during four hours to look for a new drummer. They found and hired Peter Roumeliotis, who brought a whole new dimension to the band by actually playing the drums instead of pretending like Usher did. However, the fans rejected this lineup change and threw uncorked wine bottles at the band during all fourteen shows they played in the first three days of Roumeliotis' tenure. He was fired, and the band suspended touring for the second time to convince Usher to return. He agreed on the condition that he be given two days to learn to play drums for real. This he did, and returned triumphantly to the stage for the recording of Accidentally's Quadruple Diamond Certified live CD/DVD Accidentally Live: The No-Duanes Allowed Concert, released in 1997.

In 2003, after eleven straight years of non-stop touring and thirty-four live albums, Accidentally decided the time had come to record a new studio album with original material so that they would have something apart from the ten songs on their first album to play live. They returned to the same studio where they had recorded their debut, looking to beat their record for recording an album in 1 hour 24 minutes by at least seven minutes. Unfortunately, the entire band fell into a coma shortly after entering the building and didn't wake up for two years, except for Muhammed Ali, who never woke up at all. When they recovered, the band discovered that their popularity had waned due to the fact that they had been absent from the music scene for a while. They quickly released the new album, Montclair 3404, which received mixed reviews but was immensely successful commercially, partly because of Chewbacca, who's overdubbed lead guitar playing was even better than Muhammed Ali's, if possible. Things were looking bright for the band.

Decline and Fall[edit]

The first major pitfall experienced by the band was when Andrés MacLeod let slip that he had "smoked weed this one time". This revelation caused quite a brouhaha among people with too much time on their hands, who immediately began a campaign against "this evil force that is corrupting the youth of America". When the band pointed out that they were from Canada and not american at all, this guy declared war on them.

The war was unsuccessful, but this guy did succeed in turning a small portion of the public against the band. This tiny force of determined retards fought savagely against what they viewed as "the greatest force of Mephistopheles ever to befall the earth". They lit fires at concerts in an attempt to destroy the fanbase, but Accidentally incorporated the fires into their act, burning their instruments as they played for additional brütality and heavyosity. The opposing force, calling themselves The Anti-Accidentally Brigade, attempted to eliminate Accidentally by poisoning the band members' vodka with arsenic, but Andrew Campeau, having developed an immunity over the years for just such an occasion, tasted the poison in the vodka and warned the other band members. They attempted to get revenge on The Brigade by sending them poisoned LSD, but this failed almost as badly as the original attempt. All in all, it was a fairly shameful time for everyone involved, even though nothing really came of it.

In 2008, the band recorded and released their third studio album, Japanese Democracy. It received mixed reviews, particularly because of the apparent similarity between the album's title and Guns N' Roses's comeback album Chinese Democracy. The band couldn't figure out why, but the public seemed to think so. Sales of the album were dismal (even worse than Chinese Democracy's), and the band became unable to support the expensive lifestyle they were used to (which included NO DRUGS WHATSOEVER). The support tour failed, with every show being canceled (except one at a local doctor's office) due to poor ticket sales.

The band members soon found themselves living on the street. When they couldn't figure out what street it was, they realized they had hit rock bottom.

Current[edit]

Because of their terrible situation, the members of Accidentally decided that the best course of action would be to reset their lives back to when they were 18 and start all over again. This they did: by channeling David Allen's mind powers (and with a little help from Darren Usher and Jesus), they erased all trace of themselves from the collective consciousness and made themselves 20 years younger, ready to start afresh. And so they have; having gathered a small cult following, Accidentally has announced it's first album, Accidentally, to be released soon. Only the cover art and track listing has been made available so far, but fans are hopeful for a speedy release.

Discography[edit]

Studio

Accidentally (1990)

Montclair 3404 (2005)

Japanese Democracy (2008)


Live

Throw All Your Cash On Stage (1992)

Throw All Your Cash On Stage II (1992)

The Freddie Mercury Tribute Concert (1992)

Living and Breathing in Thunder Bay (1992)

Throw All Your Cash On Stage III (1993)

Smoke & Mirrors: The Concert for Epilepsy (1993)