Adam Sutler
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Adam Sutler (b. May 5, 2009) he was promoted to The Prime Minister of The British Kingdom in 2048. He stirred up controversy in 2053 when it was revealed he is white.
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[edit] The Early Years
Sutler was born in Bristol to a mining engineer James Sutler and a toucan named Bingo. Despite the unusual circumstances of his childhood, he lived a relatively ordinary life even though he was homeschooled. His parents were devout followers of Magictology, which is said to have been the reason for drafting legislation to create J.K. Rowling Day in 2040. In 2015, Sutler started a short-lived rap group called Snog II, but Snog (formerly known as Snodog, formerly known as Snoop Dogg, formerly known as Snoopy Noony Noony) sued, and Sulter changed the name of his group to the Doo Dogs. They only recorded one song ("Rappity Rappo, Busta Cappo") on a memo slot on Sutler's cell phone, but it failed to gain the interest of any major recording studios.
In 2017, Sutler earned a basketball scholarship to Duke University where he originally majored in physics. He changed his major to political science after having a mystical visitation by the ghost of Bill Clinton who was apparently looking for a cheeseburger. Due to his background in Magictology, Sutler interpreted this to mean he should run for Prime Minister of England. Subtler returned to England and applied for a janitorial position at Downing Street. He would stay there until he was promoted to Prime Minister thanks to the Ending Election Act of 2015 when there was zero voter turnout in 2014.
[edit] The Great Unification of Europe
After the Great Unification of Europe orchestrated by Oprah Winfrey of 2033, Downing Street was made the head of all Europe, and the region was renamed The British Kingdom of No Freedom. Sultler, who was an intern/sex-slave at the time, said he welcomed the change and thought it would expand the freedoms of the people. This tone caught the eye of Margaret Thatcher's corpse, and he was promtly given the position of Minister of laughter and monkfish. It was then when he began pursuing legislation to reinstate corpral punishment in Parliament.
[edit] Subtler's Promotion to Prime Minister
File:Ordersnopp.jpg The second death of Margaret Thatcher occurred in 2048, and it was her expressed wish that Subtler be promoted to Prime Minister. The Parliament approved the appointment, and it was so. Subtler immediately began working on establishing the Order of Snoop Dogg, and he awarded himself the first medal. In one of his most famous speeches, Sutler said "Snoop Dogg has been a positive role model for kids all around the world, and this award will keep his influence alive." After that, he executed the pope.
In 2049, Sutler had the defense department working on a multipication table, but their efforts proved to be unsuccessful. In 2050, he made J.K. Rowling's birthday a federal holiday. He didn't do much for the next four years, but the darkest day of his presidency was quietly sneaking upon him.
[edit] The Incident at Dublin
It was June 7, 2053 when Subtler was wandering around inner-city Dublin looking at the street when a grungy teenager threw a rock at Sutler's neck. It was then this teenager made the startling relevation: Subtler was, in fact, white. Even though he had not made a claim contrary to that fact, everyone had assumed he was not white. This caused the Great Riots of 2053, which inadvertently ignited World War III. Subtler was determined to fight this uprising, but the disgraced Prime minister instead decided to resign his post, and gave it back to Margaret Thatcher, who had returned from the grave a second time.
[edit] Sutler's Later Years
After leaving Downing Street, he refined his magical abilities and accepted an interim teaching position at The Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry where the ghost of J.K. Rowling, grateful that he made her birthday a national holiday, taught him how to turn into a giraffe. He spent the rest of his life in the London Zoological Gardens nibbling on twigs.
[edit] Trivia
- Adam Subtler was the first and so far only prime minister of The British Kingdom of No Freedom to be clinically alive.
- His mother, a toucan, invented liquid detergent.
- He is, contrary to popular belief, white.
