Admin Smackdowns

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Ultimate Guide adminstrators.jpg

On Albert "Lumphead" Gore's Internets the Wiki roosts are ruled by Admins. These fabulous beings have, in addition to their gossamar fairy wings, the power to remove cretins, fools, spammers, blankers, idiots, brain-damaged hamsters, blankers, vanity-chimps, prosaic brontosauruses, blankers, tweakers, dweebs, blankers, and blankers from the exalted list of Those Who Can Contribute To The Wiki.

All of them are the veritable incarnations of our belovéd Oscar Wilde, of course. Right down to the pink brushed-pigskin spats.

Praise the Admins. Long may they rain. We mean reign!'

Jeez. Now we're on their blacklist, we just know it.

The Art of the Smackdown[edit]

Many and fabled are the one-line comments used by the Admins to smack the unworthy upside their filthy jowls. We weep when we think of these magnificent one-liners dropping, unnoticed, into the cesspit of database purgeage.

Hence: a list of the most notable smackdowns, soon to be engraved in Lucida font on a highly polished and everlasting slab of cheddar cheese.

The List[edit]

  • Hear that strange whistling noise? That was my point hurtling over your head at near-lightspeed. ~~Oscar "Codeine" Wilde
  • You know, you really need some anger management sessions. Just my opinion. ~~Oscar "Codeine" Wilde
  • I believe you need a life, sir. ~~Oscar "Flammable" Wilde
  • On behalf of the Uncyclopedia administators, I'm sorry you're such a douche. ~~Oscar "EvilZak" Wilde
  • Because Splaka isn't Hitler. He just plays him on TV. ~~Oscar "Famine" Wilde
  • CALL 1-800-U-BANNED FOR TOTAL BANNAGE! ~~Oscar "Tompkins" Wilde
  • Vandal. Throwing a tantrum won't get you anywhere, you know. ~~Oscar "Codeine" Wilde
  • Oh dear GOD what have I DONE? I've pissed off an asshole! ~~Oscar "Bradaphraser" Wilde
  • You are hereby banned from the internet. ~~Oscar "Spang" Wilde
  • Why not just go write some angst ridden poetry whilst listening to System of A Down instead? ~~ Oscar "Codeine" Wilde
  • Thank you for flying Air Uncyc. You can quit being a cockbag and using proxies, or you can FUCK OFF. ~~Oscar "Hinoa" Wilde
  • Kid, you need to address your issues. But not here. ~~Oscar "Codeine" Wilde
  • This is actually my favorite thing to do. ~~Oscar "Keitei" Wilde
  • Go do your drugs and quote-spam some other site. ~~Oscar "Famine" Wilde
  • Wait a minute... That wasn't civilized at all!!! ~~Oscar "Moneysign" Wilde
  • Awwww, did you get blocked by the mean ol' sysop? Poor baby. ~~Oscar "EvilZak" Wilde
  • Oops, my finger slipped. ~~Oscar "Codeine" Wilde
  • If I blanked Oprah Winfrey and realized how banned I was going to be, I'd say "SHIT." too. ~~Oscar "EvilZak" Wilde
  • we only hate you <3 ~~Oscar "Splaka" Wilde
  • Warning or no; quit vandalising Babel:Pt-br. It'll get you fucking killed faster than Google when Steve Ballmer is in a bad mood. ~~Oscar "Hinoa" Wilde
  • Because life isn't all that it's hyped up to be. ~~Oscar "Tompkins" Wilde
  • I don't know if you are Insane Jester, but you will be treated similarly. ~~Oscar "Hinoa" Wilde
  • Insane Asshat ~~Oscar "Mhaille" Wilde
  • I LOVE YOU, HAVE MY BABIES! ~~Oscar "MoneySign" Wilde
  • Someones gonna unban you. In 24 years. (expires 19:52, 13 December 2029) ~~Oscar "Nytrospawn" Wilde
  • Dude, get a sense of humor. Or at least be secure in the knowledge that this site won't be troubling you anymore. ~~Oscar "Splaka" Wilde
  • Abusing an administrator? Wow, you *are* as fucking stupid as you appear. Unlucky. ~~Oscar "Codeine" Wilde
  • For future reference, please note that forming a small group of plebs and deciding matters that influence large and/or important parts of Uncyclopedia will not be accepted "just because you have a talk page to vouche for it" -- Oscar "MoneySign" Wilde
  • "FYI, Wikipedia has a very large, wonderfully juicy penis" -- Oscar "Tompkins" Wilde
  • "Fathered my illegitimate child" ~~Oscar "Tompkins" Wilde
  • "[email protected] UN(Y([email protected] 4 [email protected] [email protected]!" ~~Oscar "EvilZak" Wilde
  • "The path to Nirvana doesn't involve blanking Buddhism, but the path to Bansville does." ~~ Oscar "EvilZak" Wilde
  • "GAY BUTTSECKS" ~~ Oscar "Keitei" Wilde
  • "OMG UNCYCLOPEDIA DID WTC!!!! CONSPIRACY CONSPIRACY CABAL CABAL" ~~Oscar "Codeine" Wilde
  • "Get Out of My Store!" ~~ Oscar "Tom mayfair" Wilde
  • "Don't you have anything better to do with your time? Like say, ceasing to exist?" ~~Oscar "Hinoa" Wilde
  • "♫ I ban fails like you, all the day, all the day... ♪" ~~Oscar "Jack Phoenix" Wilde
  • "Do you hear that, Mr. Anderson? That is the sound of inevitability. That is the sound of your permaban. Goodbye, Mr. Anderson." ~~Oscar "TheLedBalloon" Wilde
  • "Hate Uncyclopedia? Why, how new and exciting! You, sir, are certainly one-of-a-kind." ~~Oscar "TheLedBalloon" Wilde
  • "IMMA STICK MAH DICK IN YO ASS! DON'T DO DAT AGAIN HONKY!!!!!!!" ~~Oscar "Roman Dog Bird" Wilde
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