Adolf Shitler
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“Adolf Shitler definitely does not exist”
~ Adolf Hitler on Adolf Shitler
“Adolf Shitler sounds like Adolf Hitler”
~ Captain Obvious on Adolf Shitler
“Oh Shit!...ler”
~ Adolf Shitler on his name
Unknown to most, Adolf Hitler was not actually a real person. In fact he was created as a human alter-ego by the pure evil that is Adolf Shitler. Shitler is an incredibly simple organism. Basically he is a turd with a moustache. But inside that sick twisted mind of his, Shilter is an evil dictator. He travels from planet to planet, creating hosts to carry out his evil master-plans. No mortal has ever actually seen Adolf Shitler as he is incredibly secretive, and he lives in one of those disgusting Port-a-loos that no-one wants to go in.
[edit] The Story of Shitler on Earth
Adolf Shitler arrived on the crappy planet of Earth in 1356 AD. Unfortunately, he crash-landed his space toilet into Liverpool. It took him the next 400 years to burrow his way out of the hole he was in, and then he was faced by Liverpool. He only just managed to survive the onslaught of greasy, disgusting tramps that attacked him in an effort to steal any belongings that he might have owned. Eventually he dragged himself out of the Godforsaken hellhole and hid on the bottom of a shoe. The shoe belonged to a German man who was staying in Liverpool for his holidays (???!). After living on the sole of the shoe for a whole 17 hours, Shitler found himself on an aeroplane on the way to Germany. Upon arriving in Germany Shitler immediately set to work creating a human form. He took over German National Lab and within 16 days he had completed his alter-ego. However, the 'S' button on the keyboard was broken, so Shitler was forced to name the human Hitler instead.
Using his magical powers of mind control, Shitler managed to work Hitler into the position of Chancellor of Germany (It wasn't hard; the opposition were a gypsy, a small chinese girl and a L3 Jigglypuff. Hitler was now where Shitler wanted him. He could continue in his attempt to convert the whole universe into poo-worshipping slaves. But Shitler had one problem: Jews. Jews - similar to Jabba the Hutt - were invulnerable to turd mind tricks. So Shitler gave up trying to convert the Jews, and instead resorted to killing them all. He had just reached the Olympic record of 3 billion Jews killed, when he received some news. A baby had been born in USA with a mohican and shit-loads of bling. His name: Mr. T. This news shit-scared Shitler as he had heard a prophecy of the one named Mr. T, saying he would grow up to rival even Chuck Norris himself. So Shitler made Hitler kill himself and Shitler fled to his home planet of Craaaaaaap.
[edit] The Eventual Demise of Adolf Shitler
Adolf Shitler lived for 16,098,456,283 years. But in his 16,098,456,284th year, he got totally pwned. He was spinning through space in his cosmic porta-loo, when suddenly he stopped he got out of the bog, and opened the door, only to be met by the sight of a grue. He screamed and legged it, but wasn't looking where he was going and ran straight into a wall. Humpty Dumpty fell off the wall onto Shitler. crushing his (legs?). Then Chuck Norris suddenly appeared, roundhouse kicked Shitler in the face, and Shitler died, even though he was immortal. That shows how hard Chuck is.
[edit] Are We Safe?
Although Adolf Shitler is dead, we will never be truly safe from turd. For example, Mr Hankey the Christmas Poo is Shitler's cousin, and if he hadn't been crushed to death by some fat lard, then we could have had some kind of World War II.5. Everyone shits and eventually Shitler will no doubt be reincarnated. So the answer is NO. WE ARE NOT SAFE.
