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Aejay, born of the United States and not anywhere near the legal age to be president, has decided to run as president(in b4 b&). Instead of continuing voicing the same policies and beliefs over and over again, he has decided to display his beliefs and background only once, and leave his details to will of the lurkers of uncyclopedia.
Then, in 2012, Aejay will run for president and project all of the existing (and fucked up) policies that take place below:
Aejay For President!
As president, Aejay promises to fulfill all the "promises" described in the fucked up and modified chapters below... but first...
Aejay was born in the heart of the United States, near a place we all like to pronounce misery. With his sexuality being questioned from the day of his conception, it was decided that he would be labeled queer for the rest of his life.
Enough of that, no one really cares where presidential candidates come from, unless it's relatively close to Russia.
Policies and Beliefs
As president of the United States, Aejay promises to make all of these things a reality (unless changed by the unforgiving mass of uncyclopedia):
Aejay doesn't support the marriage of two gay men. However, he supports the marriage of two straight men, as he considers it more of a "bromance/mancrush" situation. And as long as the balls don't touch, it shall be legal. And with these new statutes, Aejay hopes to be the first president to present the US with a "First Man" in lieu of having another "First Wife."
Aejay has a firm belief that all research should refer to Uncyclopedia first, and never resort to its arch nemesis, Wikipedia. However, when it comes to citing your sources, you must never directly refer to the website you obtained the information from, and you must never directly refer to the subject of the page. Examples:
"Aejay for President," Uncyclopedia. Oct 18, 2008. <http://www.uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Aejay>
"The Article that has something to do with politics and some guy wanting to fix them," The site that doesn't really like wikipedia, but looks a lot like it, but doesn't have any resourceful information. Oct 18, 2008.
With these new standards on citation, Aejay hopes to further complicate grading for the many English professors out there. Fuck you, Prof. Smickley.
Aejay has always thought of the Asians as being crafty and untrustworthy. If he dies while in office, he promises to make sure that an Asian is his Vice President to take over after his death.
Really. Just hit that little edit button and make Aejay support things he hadn't even dreamed of yet.
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