After the End of Time

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Represented here are the time periods from the end of time to after the End of time.




The following is narrated by Morgan Freeman:

By now... the Universe has completely collapsed and is now contained by what remains of Chuck Norris' brain. His brain now becomes the new universe and it is governed by the actions of Norris particles[1]. But according to the Pauli exclusion principle[2], this is an unstable arrangement. Therefore Einstein's brain was required by the laws of physics[3] to take the role of the parallel anti-universe and consume its anti-contents in their entirety.


  • Oh, and Ralph Nader finally gives up

Quantum mechanically speaking, they get along quite well and mutually stable energy/anti-energy relations are in equilibrium[4]. However, since time no longer exists, the Hawking brain points this out to the Einstein brain one day.[5] In contrary, the Einstein brain points out that if time does not exist, then also Relativity does not exist. Relativity, as we all know, is the prime core of every good physics book[6].

This presented a problem, or paradox[7], if you will. Both brains knew it at that moment physics was all powerful, but Relativity was its achilles heel. All good physics stands on relativity[8]. At once the two brains began crunching out solutions left and right, but none of them where physically correct.

The quest of the two brains to resolve the solution resulted in an infinite amount of heat. Again, this causes an exponetially building rift between the two brains[9]. In short, they explode[10], this causes the beginning of time...

And how do I know this, because it has happened before...

Actually i don't know or maybe i do?! OH NO my head is gonna a splode

But what I do know is that the "bird" will continue to be "the word."

The recreation of the Universe[edit]

And yes, just one year later (wait, there's no years after the end of time!(Well, maybe time was still there!)), the Universe was created again and the the Big Bang was born.[Citation not needed at all; thank you very much] Or was it the 7,823,914,712,985,621,479,518,274,546,918,274,612,341,249,562,148,796,512,389,746,182,720,000,000th?

Shortly after, Stephen Hawking got out of his wheel chair and danced a jig. Being that it was after the end of time, no one was there and therefore no one realized that he was faking all this time. What a dick! He really is a genius because he tricked us all into thinking he was paralyzed and a vegetable. How could we have been so blind? However, if he were to rejoice by moving around freely with no one to witness him, his gaiety was short-lived because radiation from the 7,823,914,712,985,621,479,518,274,546,918,274,612,341,249,562,148,796,512,389,746,182,720,000,000th Big Bang made him perilously cancerous; with no doctors in existence and only him, he had no medical attention and thusly withered up and died and eventually biodegraded into the atmosphere. As of this happening, everything is once more a dull and black void. (Or is it...

Notes[edit]

  1. A convenient new particle that describes the mismatch of matter/anti-matter in the multi-verse, of course created by the Hawking brain.
  2. This guy had a hard-on for excluding things, trust me it makes things less bland.
  3. Physics is more powerful than any universe, remember this!
  4. We believe this has something to do with the Theory of gravity.
  5. We know time doesn't exist, so "day" cannot exist...STFU...just keep reading.
  6. Go ahead, look in the index!
  7. The only thing worse is a pair-of-geese.
  8. Awesome metaphor!
  9. You noticed we mentioned heat, well, entropy can only exist in a real universe...and he-he...entropy is heat driven...whoops!
  10. In taking on infinite heat in a quantized universe, matter must expand infinitely. Thus creating further contradiction in the non-velocity universe, basically causing instantaneous overload.
Preceded by:
End of time
Best Thing in Existence
Eternity - Infinity
Succeeded by:
Beginning of Time