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Liwa-e-Ahmadiyyat (Ahmadiyya flag). Phallic comparisons have been discouraged by venerable Hazrat Ali Dikk ul-Islam, while equally venerable Mirza Ballatullah thinks they're ok

The Ahmadiyya (احمدیہ) is a gang of funny folks of the sourpuss variety. They're homed in Lahore, Spakistan.

Animal rights[edit]

The green banner of the Prophet (PBUH ...or else!)

They don't dig pork, mutts nor fags. However, hot steaming monkey sex is ok, provided the participants tuck the green banner of the Prophet into their bottom and wiggle it vigorously while in action.

Wifeys, homos, stiffs & fresh meat[edit]

Stiff correctional measure. Half a pun intended

While the Religion of Peace's sticks and stones break the homo's bones, they're soft on the wifey, though: only light beating allowed - if all else has failed, hey! However, should the missus go astray, stiffer correctional measures are in order. Being really nice to children is always an option, particularly if you are the Prophet and the deserving brat has been naughty.

Jihad & virgins[edit]

Two virgins awaiting the pious, making Jihad a worthwhile endeavour, even for demanding Ahmadi tastes

Unlike their Muslim suckalikes, for whom the spiritually penetrating effects of Jihad are best achieved with the aid of rocket propellants, they feel that cotton candy thrown at medium range suffices. Their brethren usually engage in Jihad only after they have ran out of virgins - the Ahmadi garden variety, however, take to the candy store when they are too ugly, too.

See Also[edit]

In June 1987, the honourable Khalifa Dikk Wad ul-Khan pooped on the carpet. The most devout didn't leave the premises till May 1989

External links[edit]

Honourable Khalifa Dikk Wad ul-Khan gained some notoriety for fondling heathen balls before cutting them off
  • alislam.org. Official Website of the Ahmadiyya branch represented by their flag's left ball.
  • aaiil.org. Official Website of the Ahmadiyya branch represented by their flag's right ball.
  • ahmadiyya.us. Official Website of the Ahmadiyya branch represented by their flag's dick.