# Aiden

 Aiden Origins Seattle washington Years Active 2003 - Genre(s) post hardcore Vegeterian Grindcore Slipknot Tribute Angsty Jihad Pop Labels Vic-Tory Records(2003-present)Skellington Records Members WiL FrancisAngel IbarraNick Wiggins"Ballsack" Jack WamboldJim Davidson

Aiden is Bullshit.

## Biography

After being bribed with a HUUUUUUUGGGGGEEEEEEE sum of money from Boy George to design a form of propaganda wiL Francis went home to his local pub and recruited a bunch of locals to play in his new band by promising them all the pot they could Smoke and hundreds of hot ladies. Amused by the idea, the blokes went along with Francis's plan and booked out a garage to write up some political messages to some really catchy tunes. After they had made up some tunes they needed a name, so they decided it was time to get high whilst watching the American adaptation of The Ring. Eventually deciding to use the name of a boy in the movie named 'Aiden', Aiden were ready to strut their stuff on the big stage. Their original style of music was that of a Christian boy band but after critics accused them of lip syncing and their lyrics were described as unfaithful, they decided to change their style to hardcore punk often referred to simply as punk, or music. Their actual style of music has become a heated debating subject and has been featured in debates all around the globe with some of the best debaters arguing over whether it is punk or goth or emo or simply just alternative rock. The topic is now being reviewed by politicians and debaters everywhere. There is even a book being written by Oscar Wilde, a self-proclaimed fan, titled What is Aiden?

### Scandals

Whilst Aiden manage to maintain a relatively low profile they are undeniably big in taking part in some of the world's most notorious scandals.

Pope John Paul II rocks out to Aiden.
Benedict XVI giving papal blessing.

#### Aiden and the Pope

Aiden had been rumoured to have spent a considerable amount of time with Pope John Paul II, performing live gigs in the Vatican and eating dinner with him. When interviewed regarding this, both parties denied any connections but several of the band members were wearing T-Shirts with "I ${\displaystyle \heartsuit }$ THE POPE" written on them and carrying crosses which they denied yet again by producing inverted crosses when asked. "We did not have dinner with the pope!" answered a defiant Francis as they were boarding the plane at Italian airports and were interviewed by a chubby South African reporter holding two boxes full of pizza.

After the incarnation of Pope Benedict XVI secret Vatican files linking Pope Paul II and Aiden appear to have been leaked to the Italian newspapers, however Pope Benedict appears to have no connection with Aiden. In fact when asked on this Pope Benedict was rumoured to have said "What would I have to do with those fudge packers? I like the ladies! More vino!" This has not yet been confirmed.

#### Connections With Satan

Many Christian groups have condemned Aiden's songs for containing Satanic messages when played backwards. The band denied any such claims, dismissing them as the product of overactive imaginations. But when played in reverse the song 'Die Romantic' sounds like 'It's time for blood' and 'we need your soul'. These supposed Satanic messages caused an outcry, even Pope John Paul II was shocked despite him being one of Aiden's most loyal fans. During an interview WiL stated that the band were not promoting such but his statement was proved hypocritical when he was caught wearing an inverted cross on a poster in an issue of Kerrang alternative music magazine and was seen to have an inverted pentagram tattooed on his chest. Francis has also been seen wearing shirts with slogans such as "I am the Devil" and "Let the Right One in", an obvious translation of 'let Satan in your soul.'

#### Shooting Incident

James O'Barr, author of The Crow, wanted Aiden to promote his work by having WiL dress as the title character in one of his music videos by wearing black make up in the style of the character. Of course Aiden abused this deal by trying to convince random people that Brandon Lee was still alive and that he really was The Crow and not just some actor. Things did not go well when someone shot Francis to see whether or not he was invincible like The Crow and he ended up in the hospital after getting a bullet in his right buttocks.

### Connections to AFI

In the last few years it has been pointed out by many people that Aiden seem to be growing remarkably similar to Californian band AFI. Although it has been suggested that this is simply because Aiden are too shit to come up with their own ideas this is not true. This is simply what they want you to think! In fact, there is a small portion of both bands fan bases who have stumbeld upon a surprising secret. By taking the 'D' 'E' and 'N' out of Aiden and adding an 'F' in the middle it has been discovered that YOU MAKE AFI. This, as well as the fact that you never ever ever see the two bands in the same place has made this small group, commonly known as the 'WE KNOW YOUR SECRET AFIDEN!!! collective' believe that they are in fact... THE SAME BAND. Although there are many who say this is impossible as Aiden had one more member than AFI they can provide an answer to this as well, Jake W, who left the band last year, was in fact a robot. During one of their after show water fights his cicuits became irrepairably fried and so the rest of the band decided to pretend he had simply left. Of course all of this makes those fans who despise the other band for being too similar and copying their ideas look like monumental feckwits. Although this theor is not yet widely accepted the AFIDEN movemnet is slowly building up momentum and the group hope to make aware the whole of both bands fan bases wihin the following few months and thereby forcing the guilty party to make a full confession.

### Fan Following

While much of Aiden's fan following has been attributed to the sexiness of its lead: WiL Francis, it still receives a large following from emos, along with the odd goth here and there. Aiden fans are notorious for behaving as though they are in a zombie-like state, huffing kittens, taking drugs,eating babies and singing polka. Psychologists are at a loss to explain these peculiarities associated with Aiden's fans and are even resorting to coming up with explanations just as stupid as ADHD. A majority of Aiden fans are also shown to shop at places such as Hot Topic and the Milkbar.

It must also be noted that Dale Norton thinks that Aiden are sexy.

## Discography

Aiden's Communism Album Art

### Albums

• Our Gang's Dark Orgy
• Pleasant Dream Analogy
• Non-commitment
• Pillows

### Singles

• Pie Romantic
• First Sunspot
• Fiftyfour
• Hug Love Nightmare
• I Wrap My Friends in saran wrap
• We Sleep Together
• One Slut
• Hour
• Scavengers in the Garbage