Alan Smithee

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For those without comedic tastes, the self-proclaimed experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about Alan Smithee.


One of Smithee's many directorial trademarks.

One of the greatest movie directors in the history of film, Alan Smithee has directed more than 50 feature films in his 40+ year lifetime.

Born in the tiny Eastern European country of Batavia, Smithee's family emigrated to the U.S. ('Smithee' is actually the Americanized version of the family's old world name - 'Johnson') during the Great Peat Shortage of 1935. They eventually settled in Oxnard, California where Smithee's father, Tim, found work as a horsepainter. His mother, Esme, worked part time as the Governor of California (1936-38) until the vicissitudes of raising 13 children made it too difficult.

Smithee's first job in the movie industry was at Warner Bros. where he worked as a tripod for the immortal William "One Shot" Beaudine on several of the wildly popular Torchy Blane films. From there he worked his way up to assistant gaffer at Monogram and, in 1955, got his first big break substituting for famed cinematographer Arnie Ellis II after he was mauled by a sloth on the set of Tarzan Buys A Buick.

Smithee Filmography[edit]

  • The Uncyclopedia Movie (2006)
  • Plop Plop, Fizz Fizz - The Movie! (1990)
  • Saigon Surprise (1989)
  • A Milli Vanilli Christmas (TV) (1988)
  • Ernest Goes to Rehab (1987)
  • Big Big Guns (1986)
  • Death Exterminator II (1985)
  • Revenge of the Guy Behind You! (1982)
  • Galaxy Fighters III: The Empire's New Hope (1981)
  • He's Behind You! (1980)
  • Galaxy Fighters II: Payback (1978)
  • Monstrous Alien Vagina (1977)
  • Galaxy Fighters (1976)
  • Messy Jill, Goofy Bill (1975)
  • Kung-Fu Death-Cheaters (1974)
  • Hands Up, Honky! (1974)
  • Motorcycle Mamas In Chains (1973)
  • Godbother! (1968)
  • The Eerie Area (TV) (1967)
  • Chuck Winsor: Park Ranger (TV) (1966)
  • Holy Crap! It's a Giant Lobster! (1965½)
  • With Four You Get Pigs Feet (1965)
  • Come Back, Farley Granger! (1964)
  • Hillbilly Hijinks (1963)
  • Mars Needs Elvis (1959)
  • Reform School Hellcats (1958)
  • Beach Blanket Beats (1957)
Filmmakers of the World
Epic Visionaries

Michelangelo Antonioni | Ingmar Bergman | Peter Bogdanovich | Robert Bresson | Charlie Chaplin | Coen Brothers | Francis Ford Coppola | Cecil B. De Mille | Clint Eastwood | Federico Fellini | John Ford | D.W. Griffith | Alfred Hitchcock | Abbas Kiarostami | Sergio Leone | Martin Scorsese | Steven Spielberg | Andrei Tarkovsky | Orson Welles | James Cameron | Akira Kurosawa

Not-So-Epic Visionaries

Michael Bay | Uwe Boll | Tim Burton | Ken Burns | John Carpenter | Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer | Mel Gibson | Tom Green | Catherine Hardwicke | Spike Lee | George Lucas | Dolph Lundgren | McG | Michael Moore | Leonard Nimoy | Guy Ritchie | George Romero | Joel Schumacher | M. Night Shyamalan | Alan Smithee | Oliver Stone | Billy Bob Thornton | Tommy Wiseau | John Woo | Ed Wood | Rob Zombie

Highly Respected in France

Woody Allen | Darren Aronofsky | Mel Brooks | Sofia Coppola | Jean-Luc Godard | Jim Jarmusch | Charlie Kaufman | Jerry Lewis | David Lynch | Rob Schneider | Lars von Trier

Highly Confusing in Japan

Milos Forman | Terry Gilliam | Akira Kurosawa | Russ Meyer | Quentin Tarantino

Highly Disturbing in Mexico

Guillermo del Toro | Jared Hess

Highly Racist in Suid-Afrika

Neill Blomkamp

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