Albarnism
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
“... i own a melodica...”
~ User:Groove Bones on Melodicas
Albarnism is the state of being possessed with the need to listen to 'music' produced by Damon Albarn and melodicas. He's one of the most reinventive musicians ever, and is one of the most unknown most reinventive musicians ever. His other band, Blur, in contrast to the Beatles, actually knew how to play their instruments, and are additionally, in contrast to the Beatles, very unfamous, in particular outside the Britpop-loving community [1].
Albarnism is spread all over the world, webwise, but can be found in particulary high concentrations in the United Kingdom.
Contents |
[edit] The Revelation
| "I can change the entire world with African Music. I can turn the colour blue into awae-inspiring sound. I can have a band with crazy animated characters. I can kickbox the opposition into sheer obliteration. I can turn George Bush into a nice man with mere words. I can actually fly. I can have another previous band with such differing styles for each and every beloved album. I am a pearly queen when I want to be. I can write a gut-wrenchingly beautiful broken heart ballad. I continually laugh in the face of ad hominem attack t shirts. I will try to get into theatre and musicals and I will probably succeed! I am London. I am Mali. I am Music itself. I am Damon. I am All-Bran. I will prevail. You will suffer at my musical might and other numerous talents seething inside of me. I am Damon. I am Damon Suzuki. I am the Lord your God." |
- Barry Burns [2], the prophet, on Damon Albarn. Need we say more?
A victim of the affliction might secretly be an Albarnist without knowing it. The Gorillaz is high-quality Albarnism, designed to convert the unwary and hyperactive children..
[edit] The consequences of Albarnism
They are not known to the general public, studies from the Institute of Britpop Afflictions show that 67% of Albarn listeners have had some form of syphilis at some time. Part of a worrying trend is the copious amount of people who buy melodicas and start their own cartoon bands singing in faked cockney , these people have been connected to the socio-political model of Albarnism.
[edit] Various Albarnistic communities:
- http://forums.blur.co.uk/ official forum or go Blur unofficial forum|here instead, NO SPAM BOTS+YOU'll G3T T0 Pl43 NIFTIe GAEMS!!!!!!||11!!!
- http://www.blur-unofficial.com/
- http://www.gorillaz-unofficial.com/ G-unit
[edit] See also:
- Blur
- Clint Eastwood
- Cockney
- Dexterity
- Gorillaz
- Gnarls Barkley
- Graham Coxon
- Hypocrisy
- Lily Allen (through Fat Les - Alex James - Blur )
