Alcoholic Crackwhores Anonymous

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to navigation Jump to search
ForestFireWeek2011Logo.svg Fire Danger: CATASTROPHIC (delete)


This page has been tagged as a candidate for deletion during Forest Fire Week and will be huffed after seven days.

If you love it, fix it up or move it to your userspace. Just be sure to list the redirect on QVFD.

Alcoholic Crackwhores Anonymous is a little-known 12-Step group. A companion organization, AlCracAnon, is open to friends, present lovers, husbands, and ex-lovers, also known as "victims," of ACA members.

For members of the ACA, the cornerstone of recovery seems to be, "I'll deal with the crack and the alcohol, and I'll even stop smoking pot, but by god, leave my sexual addiction alone!" This was the case at least until the recent marriage of its founder, her third, in all probability a union of convenience. The outcome of this relationship remains to be seen, but if her track record is any indication, it will not last very long. In fact, this relationship may cause her to experience her 15 minutes of fame. However, it is likely that she will not enjoy this unsought notoriety, since it may well lead to her arrest and conviction.

The real reason, however, why this relationship will probably not last long is that her new husband is unlikely to regard her as "the goddess" for any significant length of time, since, as Oscar Wilde puts it, "she who starts out as the goddess invariably turns out to be the hag."

Consistent with her psychospirtualpathology, she claims that she "does not regret the past, nor wishes to shut the door on it," that all women do this sort of thing, that she is a Hippie and a feminist, that "Eve was framed," that she will not be bound by ethics or other things she does not believe in, like underwear, that she has a right to question everything and do as she pleases, regardless of the consequences, as long as "I learn from my mistakes". She also believes that while she is "a lady in the streets," she is "a freak between the sheets".

Given this attitude, she has been involved in many, many, many sexual relationships, both before and after she got into "recovery", especially when the real issue was scoring crack cocaine. It is unclear whether or not her new husband is aware of her record in this regard; however, she did once state that he "is an asshole when it comes to sex."

Some claim she is a Cylon. What is known is that she is is very intelligent, if relatively uneducated, and a product of Evolution and perhaps, Kitten Huffing, although her expressed preference in pets is dogs. She is certainly a product of her family of origin. If you pray, pray for her. She needs it, as does her latest husband victim.

See also[edit]