Alex D. Mayor
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Alex D. Mayor (birth name: Alexander Dee Mayor) was born in 1946, just late enough to conflict with the continuity of Broadway, but just early enough to not seem strange for wanting to pursue a career in custom electric guitar construction (which he did not do). Alex is most often mentioned in regards to his political status (that of mayor), and his pension for bee shouting. It is not absurd to hear his name closely tied to various supernatural anomalies, as he has ghost written biographies for many of North America's urban legends.
Mayor is married to a mediocre looking woman, with whom he has four meddlesome children (See: The Boxcar Children). And they all currently reside, frighteningly close to a cemetery, in their cramped Indiana home.
[edit] Popular Mayor Quotes
"It is far from me to assume who can put what where. Now get off of my lawn."
- In reference to Mayor's first newspaper delivery.
"I find myself struggling to comprehend what would draw a man into such dark face......... And then I think of pie."
- Commonly believed to have been first uttered by Mayor, to himself, while on the toilet.
"We look at Bears, and Cows, and Steers, and even the mighty Mule, and we judge them. We judge them for their lack of hygiene, they're uncooked foods, they content with living in pasture; knowing full well that they have no bath, with which to clean; no stove, with which to boil; and no roof, with which to fondle themselves beneath. They have none. None of these things, and we sit in judgement. And that is the very reason I am proud to call myself human."
- Shouted from the stage of an August 1981 performance of The Rolling Stones. It is believed that later that night he impregnated his wife.
"I make myself ill with delight. Now get off of my lawn."
- In reference to Mayor's second and third newspaper delivery.
