Alexander Lukashenko
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Alyksandr "A Pimp named Slickback" Lukashenko (born Alexander Fuddrucker In-N-Out McGraw) is the current Fresh Prince of Belarus, and the estranged brother of beloved talk show host Dr. Phil.
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[edit] Early Life
Lukashenko was born in I 'da hoe!, USA. He was called that redneck bymost people. However his real name was Alexander Fuddrucker In-N-Out McGraw There he learned how to grow potatoes or the great Belorussian bulba . Then, one day he decided to be a commie. So he somehow got to the USSR and changed his name.
[edit] Political Career
In the USSR, Lukoshenko decided to grow more potatoes for the communist cause. He grew so much potatoes that soon he feed the whole country. He then went up in the hierarchy of the commie party. they called him batka Lukashenko or papa Lukashenko. He then went on to invent potato vodka and for that he was given a medal and control of Belarus. Then the Soviet Union fell apart and Papa controlled the whole country. He made all the people work on farms and grow potatoes. he than sold them to Russia for gas and oil which he again sold to Europe for cash. He also made a parliament and called himself Fresh Prince. On each election he got 99% support of the Belorussian people. Soon he was proclaimed a saint and the people began to pray for him. Except for the %1, whom were dead.
[edit] Belarus, broke my heart and now I'm waiting for you
Lukashenko, after being freed from jail was given a 12 pack of Budweiser and a plane ticket to Belarus by the Republican Party, who was trying to bribe him out of the party, on grounds that he was becoming too immoral and corrupt, overshadowing more established members.
When he landed in Belarus, he was immediately imprisoned on charges of public drunkeness and taken to see the omnipotent and benevolent leader of Belarus, Larry. While most who are taken to see Larry are executed, the government of Belarus and the Kansas Public Access channel had an exchange in programming in the 1980's, which led to "1001 uses for Gerbils" becoming one of the most popular programs there and "ANGRY MAN SHOUT AT CAR" scarring the mind of young Kansans for life.
Larry immediately recognized Alexander and spared his life, under one condition... he would become the minister of propaganda and buffalo wings for all of Belarus.
Alexander resented his job, and looked for ways to overthrow the grim and neurotic Larry, whose obsession with manga threatened the economy of Belarus, and its main export, ranch dressing.
[edit] The time has come to say fair's fair
Immediately, Alexander decided to change his name to something more intimidating, and he decided to pepper his name up with umlauts, but was immediately disappointed when he discovered the state of umlaut development in Belarus was frozen due to a lack of funds, when the Belarusian House of Representatives and Pierogies decided to cut funding in 1975 to have a special concert featuring ABBA in honor of Larry's father, Stan the Magnificient.
He then decided to remove some vowels from his name and take his surname from a famous suppository manufacturer, becoming Alyksandr Lukashenko.
While watching secret cameras placed in the backseat of Larry's Mercury Sable wagon (which Lukashenko claims are for entirely wholesome purposes), the newly-dubbed Lukashenko discovered his foe's weakness for bubble wrap, and tricked him into having all the bubble wrap he wanted to play with on the S.S. Baryshnikov, which was unfortunately sabotaged when Lukashenko lit Lake Yakov Smirnov on fire.
