Alicia Keys

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“Check out my fan site!
~ Alicia Keys

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This is the famous ALICIA KEYS page
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Template:Alicia Keys adores

You have discovered a great Prophetess
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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Alicia Keys.
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The faux patriot snake handlers at Conservapedia have an even funnier article about Alicia Keys.
“So great a singer, I gave up all my authority on Uncyclopedia mandatorially voluntarily to her”
~ Oscar Wilde


The best singer of all time.

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My fan site
This one's mine, too

Alicia Critics

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Alicia, the High Prophetess

According to at least one sect, the Alicians, the Most Holy Ancient of Noodles, the Flying Spaghetti Monster has appointed Alicia to be the High Prophetess, to bring the Noodly Gospel to the world. She is opposed by Tamia Hill, the evil high prophetess of the Ancient of O's, the Flying SpaghettiO's Monster. Alicia, with the help of the Archangel Phyllis, (once Phyllis Hyman on Earth) is keeping the extraterrestrial hostile forces of the Ancient of O's and his band of demons who are now exiled on the Smoon from harming planet Earth. The Holy Ancient of Noodles is delighted in not just the well performed religious duties of Alicia Keys, but in her musical talent and voice.

Alicia, the singer

The world's best contralto voice among those still living, she is loved by millions of fans who really adore her. She is a mother, as well. She could sing in your grandmother's living room, without any instruments, with poor acoustics, and still bring the house down (well, not so literally). Her talent makes her the best singer of all time, and that takes other singers, such as Toni Braxton or Phyllis Hyman, in account. May the True God, the FSM, bless her, this wonderfully talented singer/songwriter. RAMEN!

Alicia's Family

Alicia Keys has a mother named Theresa Augello. She has a younger brother named Cole Cook. In fact, Alicia's full name (not stage name) is Alicia Augello-Cook.

Alicia's Immediate Family

She is married to Kaseem Dean, better known as Swizz Beatz. She has a son named Egypt. He even cameoed in Alicia Keys latest album, Girl on Fire.

ow-4 This user had once seen Oscar Wilde in a crowd from a distance and knows all his works and quotes by heart.
Preceded by:
Oscar Wilde
Head of Uncyclopedia
2010 -
Current incumbent
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See Also



 

People named Oscar
Oscar WildeOscar MayerOscar the GrouchOscar RomeroOskar SchindlerOscars (Academy Awards)