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“So great a singer, I gave up all my authority on Uncyclopedia
mandatoriallyvoluntarily to her”
The best singer of all time.
Alicia, the High Prophetess
According to at least one sect, the Alicians, the Most Holy Ancient of Noodles, the Flying Spaghetti Monster has appointed Alicia to be the High Prophetess, to bring the Noodly Gospel to the world. She is opposed by Tamia Hill, the evil high prophetess of the Ancient of O's, the Flying SpaghettiO's Monster. Alicia, with the help of the Archangel Phyllis, (once Phyllis Hyman on Earth) is keeping the extraterrestrial hostile forces of the Ancient of O's and his band of demons who are now exiled on the Smoon from harming planet Earth. The Holy Ancient of Noodles is delighted in not just the well performed religious duties of Alicia Keys, but in her musical talent and voice.
Alicia, the singer
The world's best contralto voice among those still living, she is loved by millions of fans who really adore her. She is a mother, as well. She could sing in your grandmother's living room, without any instruments, with poor acoustics, and still bring the house down (well, not so literally). Her talent makes her the best singer of all time, and that takes other singers, such as Toni Braxton or Phyllis Hyman, in account. May the True God, the FSM, bless her, this wonderfully talented singer/songwriter. RAMEN!
Alicia Keys has a mother named Theresa Augello. She has a younger brother named Cole Cook. In fact, Alicia's full name (not stage name) is Alicia Augello-Cook.
Alicia's Immediate Family
She is married to Kaseem Dean, better known as Swizz Beatz. She has a son named Egypt. He even cameoed in Alicia Keys latest album, Girl on Fire.
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