Alimony

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A diagram of the Global Alimony Cycle.

Alimony is a chemical element in the periodic table that has the symbol Ay (From the latin Alimonia). The exchange of alimony is a natural bio-chemical process that often follows a similar exchange of bodily fluids. Though the proportions of this exchange can be predicted by a qualified court of law by careful examination of the marital history of those involved, the biological and chemical purposes and processes are largely unknown.

Applications[edit]

Alimony is malleable and ductile, and is used extensively in products such as:

  • Statuary: The Statue of Liberty, for example, contains 179,200 pounds (81.3 tonnes) of alimony, which was given by France to the United States in the late 19th century.
  • Large Houses
  • Cookware, (including as frying pans).
  • Expensive cars.
  • Alimony stearate is a lubricative plastic additive.
  • Bastard Children

Popular Misconceptions[edit]

In Saudi Arabia some people wrongly believe that alimony is a poison, and some of them are avoiding food which is known to include alimony.

History[edit]

Alimony was discovered by Henry VIII on May 19th 1536. Though at first he was vexed by this new element, Anne Boleyn famously pointed out that it held a rather good edge, and her husband's worries were soon put to rest.