All Loud on the Eastern Front

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All Loud on the Eastern Front, was in fact a very unpopular third sequel to the 1930 film, All Quiet on the Western Front. All Loud on the Eastern Front was a "Made for TV" movie, filmed in 1974.

The Film[edit]

The movie took place on the Eastern Front during the First World War. Sadly, it was intended to be a musical. The songs were written by such famous bands as, They Might be Giants , Kiss, and who could forget, Those Kids in that Third World Country that made Instruments Out of Trash. The first musical number went a little something like this...

   As principal of this proud institution, I am happy to say that most students would feel privilged to enter the hallowed halls of St.C High.  I've spent the last 7 yeas of my life here giving 64% effort to make this school the best that it can be.  Whether its grab assing with members of the athletic teams, trying to be funny, or roaming around acting tough, I do what I can.

I know right? terrible. The film was directed by George Lucas. Later after the film was made, he admitted that he had made a bet with a friend that he could make this film. Which he did.... And it was truly disapointing... Much like most George Lucas films. Lucas also attempted to copyright te word, "Trench". The case went all the way to the supreme court where it finally was put to rest.

The Budget[edit]

The film was made on a tight budget. So they could only get so many actors/actresses to play the roles. Since it is in fact a war film, they only needed about five main characters and a whole bunch of war reenactors who have agreed to run around and shoot blanks in the background. Also, the eqiupment that they used in the film was so off date for 1914-1918. They were using Vietnam war Era weapons and equipment, just because it was "Cheap".


The popularity of the film was not impressive. A total of ten people actually watched the film the night it aired on TV. George Lucas made the wonderful decision of airing it on the night of December 31st. The ten people who actually watched the film were some drunken bumbs who had nothing better to do except watch a 1970s made for TV movie filmed by George Lucas. When they awoke the next morning with extreme hangovers, they thought that they had a terrible nightmare of a film in World War I about a group of German soldiers singing about their troubles in the trenches.


The film was a success! A success at losing money and viewers! This film made Lucas Films go so bankrupt, that in the future they sold the rights to their films to Walt Disney pictures. Which gave them even more money to waste. Hooray. Another great day for George Lucas.

If you consider yourself the world's greatest dare devil... Watch this film.... I dare you..... It is three straight hours of terribly written scripts and songs...