All Your Base Are Belong To Us (musical)
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“The only time anyone in the audience applauded during that god-awful twenty minutes was when I whipped a battery at one of the actors”
~ Theodore Patterson, Chattanooga Reader on All Your Base Are Belong To Us musical
All Your Base Are Belong To Us was a musical performance that set a great many 'firsts' in the entertainment industry. While keeping true to the original "All Your Base Are Belong To Us" plot, it was the first musical to be performed underwater,to involve a sex act with a (dead) horse and incorporate as many as two toasters as actors in speaking roles (a third appliance-American was an understudy for Mr. Philips). However the most significant 'first' was the fact that since All Your Base Are Belong To Us has no real plot per se the play was a notorious clusterfuck and lasted only one eigth of a performance.
[edit] Musical numbers
The only surviving written account of the opening night of All Your Base Are Belong To Us was a program carved out by one bored theatre critic who (apparently) enjoyed copying programs onto stone tablets.
Act 1
- "Overture" - Orchestra
- "Oh What a Beautiful Mornin'" - John F. "Guttersnipe" Kennedy
- "I'm in the Bay of Pigs and I'm Singing" - Fidel Castro
- "Easy Does it, I'm Building Atomic Warheads"- Georg Kharisson
- "All Your Base Are Belong To Us" - John F. "Guttersnipe" Kennedy
- (See Note 1)
- "Kansas City" - Will, Aunt Eller, Male Ensemble
- "I Cain't Say No" - Ado Annie
- "Entrance of Ensemble" ("Oh What a Beautiful Mornin'" and "I Cain't Say No") - Will, Ado Annie, Curly, Ensemble
- "Many a New Day" - Laurey and Female Ensemble
- "It's a Scandal! It's a Outrage!" Ali Hakim and Male Ensemble
- "People Will Say We're In Love" - Curly and Laurey
- "Pore Jud is Daid" Curly and Jud
- "Lonely Room" - Jud
- "Out of My Dreams" - Laurey and Female Ensemble
- "Dream Ballet" - Ensemble
Act 2
- "Entr'acte" - Orchestra
- "The Farmer and the Cowman" - Carnes, Aunt Eller, Ike Skidmore, Ensemble
- "All Er Nuthin'" - Will and Ado Annie
- "People Will Say We're In Love (Reprise)" - Curly and Laurey
- "Oklahoma!" - Curly and Ensemble
- "Finale Ultimo" ("Oh What a Beautiful Mornin'" and "People Will Say We're in Love") - Ensemble
- "Exit Music" - Orchestra
Note 1- At this point it appears that the disgusted critic left, as the musical piece "All Your Base Are Belong To Us" involved a sex-act on a horse. The unnamed critic appears to have gone across the road to enjoy the Rodgers and Hammerstein classic, Oklahoma.
