Alt Graph

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ALT should be like this.

Alt Graph is the metric system calculation for how hot a super-model is. Developed by Dr. Carol Alt at the University of Vidal-Sasoon, it ranks models from a 1 to 100 scale, with Dr. Alt herself at the top.

The Alt Graph key is one of only 2 keys on the keyboard that no-one really understands (the other being ¬). Many n00bs thus reference it by shouting "Alt GRRRR!!!11!one!!¬".

Why the Alt Graph key is called Alt Graph is something of a mystery. Alt traditionally means Altitude. The Alt Graph was originally intended to create a graph of how far above Sea Level the computer currently was, but this idea was scrapped when sea level rose by several metres anyhow.

Alt Graph is a key on the Sun keyboard, a device created by those who think the keyboard is a synthesizer.

History[edit]

The Alt Graph key was discovered by paleonthologists in 1947 and was originally named fluffy-435, as it was the 435th key without a known purpose on the Sun keyboard. fluffy was the name of the kitten that had been violated (see: kitten huffing) by the scientists the night before.

Known Uses[edit]

In most known cases, the Alt Graph key is completely, utterly, unforgivingly and irreversibly useless. It is, however, known to be used on German keyboards to annoy people beyond the fact that most letters are in the wrong places, and force you to keep it pressed most of the time.

Germans are known to be unable to properly speak languages that lack an Alt Graph letter and are prone to substite letters in such languages, vich vood explain ze veird vay zey shpiik, no? The Alt Graph key was also thought to play a key role in Stephen Hawking's revenge over Bill Gates.

 

Letters of the Sun Alphabet:
Help |   | F1 | F2 | F3 | F4 | F5 | F6 | F7 | F8 | F9 | F10 | F11 | F12 | Print Screen | Scroll Lock | Paul | Mute | Volume Down | Volume Up | Power
Stop | Again | esc | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 0 | - | = | \ | ~ | Insert | Home | Page Up | Num Lock | / | * | -
Props | Undo | tab | Q | W | E | R | T | Y | U | I | O | P | { | } | backspace | Del | End | Page Down | 7 | 8 | 9 | +
   Front | Copy | ctrl | A | S | D | F | G | H | J | K | L | ; | ' | return |                                                   4 | 5 | 6
Open | Paste | shift | Z | X | C | V | B | N | M | , | . | ? | shift | up arrow |                                         1 | 2 | 3 | enter
Find | Cut | caps lock | alt | Meta | s p a c e b a r | Meta | Compose | Cast Spell | Alt Graph | left arrow | down arrow | right arrow | 0 | .