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Altoids were invented by unevolved cave men in the year 1854 BC, in the approximate area of Queens, New York, USA. The first mints tasted remarkably similar to burnt Pteranadon feces, as their ingredients were such. It was not until 357 AD in Great Britain that people realized Pteranedons had been extinct for 9,000 years that they began using different, more edible ingredients, such as crab exoskeleton, fire ant venom, and the peppermint bush, more commonly referred to as P-Diddy's Bush. Please note that Dylan had absolutely nothing to do with this.