Aluminum

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Aluminum is a well-known death metal reggae band. They originally formed at Tinseltown School, Birmingham, England and comprised the original figureheads of MTV, comprising of two of the most legendarily talented musicians ever to grace the planet Earth.

Rob Pilatus and Fabrice Morvan, the stars of the double act, met whilst working in Japan as Geisha Girls. They quickly realised they had incredible talent for singing and dancing - preferably at the same time.

The only way to describe their meeting is 'two giant red rocks, slowly beating together like a fat child’s conkers on a windy Easter morn'. That sentiment still holds true today.

Rob Pilatus' greatest achievement, was possibly his spearheading of the Vaseline movement of the late 1990s. The basis of which being retaining the shiniest possible forehead; some say this crown was stolen by Jermaine Dupri - but true scholars know that the original is always the best. Rob Pilatus eventually received the crown of 'Greasiest Nigger of All Time' awarded by Chris Rock in a private 'Kumite' ceremony. Rob Pilatus used his dimac touch to destroy the 8th brick down. David Beckham was taken aback.

Discography[edit]

Metal Rock Reggae Cover Art

Aluminum signed to Ruffhouse Records and released their debut, Bangin on Drums, but the album was panned and sold poorly. Their eclectic follow-up, The Mint, however, sold over 17 million copies worldwide and turned the trio into international superstars. Aluminum soon announced plans to begin a solo career with 1997's Mining Solo the Spelunker Featuring the arias in spanish. The album's guests included Faith Evans and the Three Tenors. The album was a major hit, as were two singles: "Ore'nt All Gold" (adapted from The Bee Gees' "Stayin' Alive") and "Gimme All You Money" (recorded with the New York Philharmonic Orchestra).

Fabrice Morvan's greatest achievement was most likely his invention of the infrared remote control device. However, he was lynched in 1999 publicly after being blamed for the worldwide pandemic of obesity. Sadly, Rob Pilatus never recovered the loss of his wife and threw himself off a cliff.

The world holds a national celebration each year on May 12th called 'Faux Pas Day' where figures made entirely of Russian matchsticks are burnt in boxes of leaves symbolising the fertility of Rob Pilatus' mother; the first milf in history.

See also[edit]