Alvin and the Chipmunks
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“Oh crap! I stepped on one of 'em.”
~ Moses on Stepping on one of 'em.
“Alvin...ALVIN...AAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLVVVVIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNN!!!
WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SHIT?”
~ Oscar Wilde on ALVIN!
“KHAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNN!!!”
~ Captain James T Kirk on wrath of ALVIN!
“Anything higher than a soprano?”
~ Chipmunks' high school choir teacher on the chipmunks
Alvin and the Chipmunks were a group of singing midgits composed of three chipmunk brothers. The chipmunks first came around in 1958, wooing--let's be honest--no one at all with their high pitched twittering to the tune of "Old McDonald Had a Farm". The chipmunks moved on from really annoying brown noise to plain retarded television shows and movies shortly after their debut. It is known that most people who listen or watch this are etheir tipsy or mentally ill. What most people do not know about the chipmunks is that their shitty act was really a front for the most cold-blooded and merciless terrorist organization seen in recent memory, Acorn Sunrise. The group has been responsible for several terrorist attacks that Nobody Cares about.
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[edit] Alvin
Alvin(AKA Malvin) Trefousse (codename: The Face) was born in 1942 to Dick Trefousse and Jane Trefousse, two predictably French youths in the French Resistance. When Alvin was one year old, the Nazis captured his parents and himself. He was subjected to an experiment designed to see how far an infant anthropomorphic rodent will go when shot out of an artillery cannon. It turns out that they go pretty fucking far, because baby Alvin landed in upstate New York, where he was found by his human "father" David Seveille after surviving by himself three weeks in the wilderness living off pine needles and dirt and suffering from a near-fatal stomach wound.
There is much evidence to believe that Alvin and "Dave" were involved in a homosexual, shitter called dave who liked big black cocks trans-species relationship. This was advertised covertly in their animated series by use of the affectionate term 'Dad'. It is not known whether the homsexuality resulted in or started as a result of their common mission, but the latter is widely suspected as being the case.
Alvin was trained for all of his childhood and much of his young-adult life in the martial arts, assassination, bomb making, and pottery by David Seveille, who was himself a sociopathic terrorist and WWI veteran. Seveille was an anarcho-primitivistic nihilist, and he passed his views onto Alvin, who in turn fought to destroy civilization for the rest of his life. Seveille came up with the idea of funding his devious activities with a novelty children's record and thus "David Seveille" and the chipmunks were born.
In his 20's, Alvin did four tours in Vietnam during the 1960's and 1970's. He originally only planned to do one, but he took another three because he found the coast so nice the first time around. In the fourth tour he met Simon Creedy and Theodore "Batshit" Bakersfield, who would later become his partners in crime. They formed the anarcho-primitivistic nihilistic terrorist organization Acorn Sunrise, making their debut in 1978 when they shot Larry Flynt for refusing to publish a special issue of Hustler featuring exclusively chipmunk models.
[edit] BAMBi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BAMbI!!!!!11!!!! (AKA Simon Creedy) is the middle of the 3, a smartass dork dweeb nerd and an idiot savant without a life, for so to speak. Based on the personality of Hayk Aremenan Badgasarian, the innovative creator of those signing chipmunks...with his audio cassette recorder on fast forward. Genius. We all could do that. :-|. but we didnt. wtf.
[edit] Theodore
Theodore Bakersfeild (named for being found there in a turnip truck) or as his friends and almost every one else called him "Batshit"; was born in post World War Russia to Jeane-Golda Shalletski and Rush-Yellta Crowe-navich. When he was 3 he was catupulted pretty fuckin' far to Bakersfeild, CA right after the rape and murder of his parents.(He was alredy in Bakersfeild, CA but he was so fat that he couldn't see where the hell he was going and thought he went somewhere far when he didn't because he was as fat as Brad Pitt when he was a kid.
[edit] The Chipettes
Female types of the Chipmunks who are their "mates." Brittany is the bitch of the Chipettes and Alvin's sexmate. She acts really spoiled and is more whore then her sisters. Eleanore is Theodore's sexmate. She is the ditzy and blonde of the Chipettes. She has bigger boobs then Brittany and loves to be a hoe. She's is the sexist as well at Strip Clubs. Jeanette is Simon's sexmate. Jeanette acts smart but like Eleanore she is ditzy. Jeanette seems to be weaker of her sisters. She is clumsy and the one who killed Miss Miller, the Chipmunk's babysitter and Chipettes "mother."
